LOVE TO HATE YOU

There's nothing sinister about batter...

I stood outside his door as if crossing the threshold would be like taking a step into a great, unchartered black abyss. This wasn't as dramatic as it sounds because it was an abyss of sorts. If I stepped into his apartment-in the daytime-I would be plunging into something that would take our relationship from awkward boss with ex-benefits, to awkward boss with ex-benefits and pancakes together in the morning.

"I think I'm going to go back to my place."

He unlocked the door and held it open for me like a gentlemen. "Pancakes, Sera. Innocent pancakes. There's nothing sinister about batter being flung into a pan."

"Um I don't know. It's all just a bit strange."

"What is?"

I rubbed my forehead and I swear I felt an actual sweat bead icicle. "Why are you doing this? Taking such an..." I could barely say the word out loud. "...an interest in me? Is it a joke? I mean, are you being serious?"

Ben walked up to me. Close. Too close. "Why you? Are you being serious?"

I nodded.

"Okay..." he said moving even closer. Way, way too close. He deliberately, and very inappropriately, pressed his body into mine now and I tried to hold down a breathy gasp, but couldn't manage it. "It may have something to do with the fact that I met the funniest, craziest, most beautiful girl at a club one night and then had the best, the best, sex of my life with her. Something that felt like so much more. And then, just when I was about to go looking for her, she landed right in front of me. I can't help wondering if it's fate."

My face flushed red-hot at the out-loud acknowledgement of the sex we'd had. Yes, it had pretty much taken the cake for the best sex I'd ever had, too, and, yes, it had definitely felt different in some way. In a way I wasn't sure I understood yet. I was rendered speechless by his confession. My tongue tied itself into knots and then the cat stole it.

"I don't date, Ben. And certainly not my boss."

"Why not?"

"You don't want to date me. Believe me."

"Why?"

"If you knew the kind of complications I come with, you'd keep away."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?"

I sighed loudly and shook my head. "No. It's not going to happen."

He looked deflated for a moment and then smiled again. "Does that mean we can't be friends either?"

Clearly he wasn't going to give up. I let out a resigned sigh. "Sure. Pancakes and coffee. Why not?" I followed the sentence with a shrug and followed him inside.

His place looked pretty amazing, not something I would have pictured. It didn't have that cool bachelor pad thing going on; in fact it looked rather homey.

"I like what you've done with the place."

"Thanks. I still have a few boxes to unpack, but getting there."

I walked over to the kitchen counter while he pulled out a pan and ingredients.

"You really cook?"

"Only desserts."

"Interesting," I said watching him expertly separate eggs, something I couldn't do-and he was doing it without even looking.

"If you got to know me you would find I'm an interesting person."

"And arrogant."

"Some people find it charming."

"Yeah, tell me about it, like the entire female population of our office,"