LOVE TO HATE YOU

(NEW) IT'S A NO 5...

"Get away from me," I hissed at him looking around to make sure no one could see us.

"Where are you going?"

"Away from here." I said quickly and hurried to my car- OH, I had no car today. JJ had dropped me off. This was just getting worse.

"Sera, please wait."

I swung around. "Ben, you have ruined my life."

"That's a bit harsh, don't you think?"

"No. This job was my life, don' you get that? I needed it, I need it and now it's all ruined and everyone in the office thinks I am a total slut who is trying to sleep my way to the top."

"But that's not true."

"Try tell that to Samantha and Ness who basically cornered me in the bathroom and accused me of being the office ho."

"What?" Ben stepped closer to me. "Do you want me to talk to them?"

"NO! No. Please. You have done enough. "I started walking towards the entrance, but Ben was hot on my heels.

"How are you getting home?" he asked.

"I'll hitch hike if I have to."

"And land up on the news in a ditch tomorrow, I don't think so. I'll take you home."

"Not a chance in hell." I continued to walk all the way up to the security boom. I ducked under it and walked out onto the busy road.

"Please don't. It's not safe standing out on this road."

I swung around and looked at him. "It's safer out here than it is in there." I said pointing at the building that had once felt like a happy sanctuary. A place where I could just be a normal person. Where no one knew my history and I could just be Sera. The playing fields were level and it was a place where, through hard work, I could make my way up because I was good at what I did. Now it was none of those things.

"Please come back inside, or at least let me take you. If you don't want to drive with me, let me get someone to give you a lift."

I shook my head. "I'll call JJ or Bruce, one of them will be able to fetch me."

Ben stared at me as I pulled my phone out and called. JJ answered immediately.

"Hey. Please can you come and fetch me from work. It a No 5." I said. This was our code. No 5 referred to Coco Channel who always wore red lipstick, which in our langue, meant code red. We only ever used this under the most dire of circumstance, usually pertaining to my dad when I couldn't speak about it over the phone.

I heard JJ jump. "I'll be there in ten. Stay put." And then he hung up. I looked over at Ben, "He'll be here to fetch me soon."

"Then I'll wait with you."

I shook my head and felt the tears well up in my eyes again. "You're just making this all so much worse by being here with me now. It's only confirming everyone's suspicious." I glanced behind me back towards the building and there, as sure as day, a few faces were standing by the window looking out at us in curiosity. I turned away from them quickly feeling more ashamed than I had in years. "If you care about me, if you ever really, truly felt anything for me, you will leave me alone and stop making this worse."

I looked up at him and a tear rolled down my cheek. "I do care about you, Sera. More than I've cared–"

I cut him off. "Yeah, yeah, you fucking love me!" I laughed at the absolute absurdity of the statement. "You don't even know me. You know nothing about me. You don't love me, you have no capacity and space for that, I'm afraid you just love yourself too much."|