LOVE TO HATE YOU

Gangnam style

Okay, we'd had sex before, so why the hell was this so damn nerve wracking?

I'll tell you why.

It was because of that damn glint in those dreamy chocolate brown eyes of his. That confident swagger that seemed to say "Yo, yo, YO. Move out of my way!" It was the assertive way he took me by the hand and marched me down the passage without hesitation. Without even looking back at me. Like I was his. It was in the way he got me into his room, immediately took his top off, and tossed it to the other end of the room. His 'devil may care' attitude was so ridiculously sexy—especially now. It was in the way he pointed for me to sit on his bed as he strode across the room, bent over and turned on the heater—How did he make turning on normal household appliances so damn crazy hot?

Ben then walked over to the bed and sat next to me, and suddenly things became strangely awkward. Very awkward. —This wasn't really how I'd imagined this moment playing out.

"God," he said as he ran his hands through his hair, "it's stupid, but I don't think I've ever been so nervous about anything in my entire life.'

I blushed. "Me too."

"I feel like a teenage girl losing her virginity."

I managed a small laugh. "It would be truly bizarre if you knew what that felt like."

"Okay," Ben said and, with that, jumped off the bed again, "let's start over." Then he exited the room and closed the door behind him. I looked at the door for a moment wondering what the hell he was about to do—unpredictable Ben. Nothing would ever be boring with him.

Suddenly he burst through the door and strode towards me. I burst out laughing. The action was so comical and bizarre. Then he slid up next to me.

"Is this seat taken?" he said. Those were the same words he uttered our first night at the club. He spoke them in that same sexy, husky tone that had immediately caused me to go wobbly— it was having a similar effect on me right now. I played along.

"Depends who's asking," I said, turning to him. His face lit up with a naughty look as he realized what I was doing.

"The name's Ben," he said, then took my hand and kissed the back of it, maintaining intense eye contact. My hand tingled. "And you're Sera," he added. And when he did, I suddenly remembered something about our first night together—He'd known my name. But how?

"How do you know my name Ben?" I asked, still playing along in a sultry sexy voice.

Ben leaned in.

"I have a confession to make."

"Mmm?"

"I've been watching you, Sera."

He said it in a way I wasn't sure was a joke. Was this role-play or—no, surely not?

"Watching me?"

"For about three months."

"What do you mean?"

"I want to make this very clear- I am saying this to you in totally non-stalker fashion."

"Okay?" I was tentative. 

"The first time I saw you was when my brother was performing." He gave a tiny smile as he looked like he was remembering, "You were with JJ and Bruce and the three of you didn't stop laughing the whole night. I think you guys were actually meant to be "in disguise"" He gestured inverted commas with a smile. "But who wears oversized shades in a night club, right? You guys stuck out like sore thumbs." He laughed at the memory, "And I thought, I'd really like to get to know that girl. The girl with the amazing smile and contagious laughter. The girl that seemed to be totally fun and carefree."