Chapter Twenty: Life or Death

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Chapter Twenty: Life or Death

Lux:

'She loves me, She loves me not, She loves me, She loves me not....' I hummed to myself as I sat on the floor painting my toenails. I hadn't been back to school in a couple of days basically isolating myself from the outside world and most especially from Carson. Even now I can still see her shy smile and her waves of blonde hair falling down her back. I smiled to myself, hoping that I could keep those memories forever. I blew lightly on my toes and waddled over to the stairs walking down the stairs slowly hoping I wouldn't notify my parents that I had finally resurfaced from room in almost three days. They were pretty worried for about the first 36 hours because I was basically a mute, by the time I woke up after talking with Jamie I couldn't even stand to look at myself without breaking down in a fit of tears. So, I refused to leave my bed and my parents tried but I refused them on every attempt threatening to runaway, that part I do regret. I think at this stage of the 'grieving' process I'm just going with the flow of life as I now know it.

I walked into the kitchen to a thankfully empty house and began making my brunch. I was in the middle of stirring my eggs when I remembered that my mom installed a television in here last week and with all the drama I never got to try it out. The remote was easy to find and I flipped on the newly shined flat screen television as I poured my eggs into the frying pan. I flipped through the channels trying to find something that caught my eye besides the usual: crap reality shows, cartoons, and over-talked about dramas. I finally settled on the news as it was the best background noise and you would always hear something you hadn't heard that entire day.

'And now back to the story that has been plaguing our town for the last couple of days. Carson Blackwell, a local girl and the daughter of Senate runner, Harold Blackwell. She had been in a coma for almost three days after having a nearly fatal car...'

I swung aroung to the TV so fast ripping the remote off the counter and turning the volume up as high as it could go. The newswoman turned it over to her co-anchor who was in front of the local hospital talking about how three days ago at around 7:30pm Carson drove down the freeway and crashed into an oncoming FedEx truck. The FedEx truck had survived the crash with little injury while Carson continues to be in medically induced coma. 'It's all my fault' I chanted to myself as I slowly scrapped the pan with the eggs. My eyes watered and dropped into my eggs, but I didn't care, who can care about anything when the girl they love...

'Do I love her?' Yes! I'm tired of fighting it, I'm tired of denying myself these feelings. I love Carson Blackwell and I'm going to do something about it!

I forgot the food and the news and ran as fast I could to my bike, the lone us of transportation in the house. I peddled at top speed avoiding traffic as easily as possibl whilst wearing down the tires. I skidded to a sharp stop, nearly knocking myself off the bike but I still stuck the landing. I dusted myself off and walked in a rush to the front desk to see a group of nurses typing away and chatting about the latest caseload.

"Hi, which room is Carson Blackwell in?" I said anxiously tapping my foot trying not to raise my voice with them. She looked my up and down with a cautious look in her eyes looked back at the computer.

"And who's asking?" I rolled my eyes and balled my fists, why can't she just give me the damn room number.

"Her...cousin from Texas." I hesitated for a second, hoping that my accent was strong enough to fool her.

"She's in room 503. And visiting hours are over at 8:30pm." I barely heard what she had to say as I raced up the stairs burning off all of the former steam that I obtained. I was doubled over practically heaving all the air out of my chest by the time I reached the fifth floor. I coughed a little bit and straightened myself as I marched, head held high, to Carson's hospital room. She was gifted with a private suite with the entire room secluded to just her and her guests. I cracked the door open slightly to see her pale body lying motionless on the hospital bed.

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