[[ M A G G I E ]]
He didn't respond. Why would I think he would anyways? Like, this is so aggravating. I put myself out there and I was vulnerable and I told him I missed him. And what do I get? I get nothing. I feel a freaking idiot! I fucked up, I get it. I told him I needed space and when I realized I was wrong, he's gone.
Maybe he's moved on. But it's only been eleven days. Maybe he didn't really like me. Maybe there's another girl. A girl who's pretty, smart, sweet, and a hundred times better than me. Maybe she understands him and makes him laugh. Maybe she wears skirts and talks about how awesome life is. Maybe she actually likes talking to people. Maybe she's a hundred-eighty from me.
I miss him. I miss having someone who likes talking to me. I miss someone who makes me laugh and feel better when I'm sad. Things have just been so quiet and lame since he left. He always found a way to make the days a little bit better with his stupid jokes and annoyingly-cute pickup lines. I miss texting him when I was suppose to be doing schoolwork.
But he doesn't miss me and I get it. I don't deserve a millionth chance.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and open my contacts up. I click on Babe and tap edit and delete contact.
He's gone. If he's moving on then so am I. I'm not going to wait for somebody who's never coming back.
Me: ifhm
Me: i deleted his number
Me: and ugh
Me: i hate him
Me: and i miss him
Me: pls don't judge me
Me: i'm not really in the mood
Me: i just want somebody to listen
Tim: huh
Me: the texter
Me: i deleted his number
Me: because i tried apologizing
Me: and he never responded
Me: and i feel like shit
Me: i miSS HAVING SOMEONE I LIKE
Me: I hATE YOU
Tim: you ain't no ray of sunshine bitch
Tim: besides
Tim: maybe he had explosive diarrhea
Tim: and exploded
Me: w h a t
Me: you drunk bitch
Tim: ugh
Tim: sorry
Tim: i have to take a shit
Tim: and you're distracting me
Tim: so my texts are coming out
Tim: with what i'm thinking about
Me: gross
Me: pls stahp
Tim: harry asked if i was gay
Tim: i said only for him
Tim: he didn't say anything
Tim: so i take it as an ok to date him
Me: you have a girlfriend
Me: he has a girlfriend
Me: are you dumb
Tim: yeah yeah
Tim: whY DOES EVERYONE THINK I'M GAY
Tim: i'm only slightly gay
Tim: for the right man of course
Me: pls go back to your girlfriend
Tim: you texted me
Tim: besides
Tim: she thinks it smells
Tim: so she's in the living room
Me: she's going to dump you
Tim: rlly
Tim: dump?
Tim: AT A TIME LIKE THIS MAGGIE
Tim: FUCK YOU
[[ H A R R Y ]]
No response after one hour? Understandable. No response after twelve hours? Fine. No response after a day? Annoying. No response after three days? She's never responding.
I miss Maggie to bits. I miss her weird statements and constant complaining about being hungry. I miss her bursting out laughing in sixth period because of something stupid I said. Megan will never be Maggie. Nobody can replace Maggie's sarcasm and sense of humor. I miss Maggie so much. Things just haven't been the same since we stopped talking.
I guess she moved on. I should be okay with that. I am going to be okay with that. I mean, if she's happy right? I should be happy for her. I mean, Brandon, or whatever his name, seems like a nice guy. Besides, I'm sure she's better for him anyways. He isn't annoying or mean. She doesn't hate him and he probably doesn't fuck up like me.
God, I wish she'd just reply and tell me she had her phone service cut off and that I was being overly dramatic about this whole situation. Because right now I'm thinking the worst.
Megan: hey babe
Megan: do you wanna hang out today?
Me: no
Me: i have this psych test i need to study for
Me: better luck next time
Me: i mean
Me: maybe tomorrow
Megan: promise?
Megan: or are you going to be talking to that Maggie girl again?
Megan: i thought you blocked her
Me: yeah
No.
Megan: really?
Megan: because when I checked four days ago
Megan: she was still there
Megan: so I blocked her for you.
++
dedicated to Ziams_Zap
