Beat Poetry

POEM 89 | TROPIC OF DISASTER

I was getting back from my routine
Finding you here
Worlds can shift in two years
And so can people,
You were at my doorstep
Never once did you ring the bell
But then you always knew,
Like the wind, to say hello out of the blue
Without the words, just a shadow to tell me you're here
A loose fitting feeling like trying to bite the air,
The distance, the waves, the shores, you've crossed in 24 hours

Unsettling how your sun should set
In the bay of my homeland,
I can still say that you're too far too reach,
Even with you a drive away
I can hear the music your wind makes
Taunting and teasing my decline away
I think I should close the day to stay
But come the morning,
I'll be at the door,
I know you won't ring,
I'm not ready to hear your call

I know that timing never favored me,
When things were good, you and I were free,
Just the sea to be in between,
Now we stand in the same land,
You with that girl,
And I smile softly thinking,
of course, it would not be me
I should say never, but hope is dangerous for me to have,
Breathing into me visions, of things I should not dare for,
I know life too well, to know it won't hear my call

And now you're staying some days more
I can still say that you're too far too reach,
Even with you a drive away,
I'm fluttering, restless, twitching at
the hours, the days
That we shared awhile
How funny you should appear here,
On the date that I met you those years before,
I know you don't remember
But that's all I do,

Parallel lines running too close
To ever meet,
coincidences of the land
I know you being here has nothing to do with me,
But to know, to feel,
I was drifting in and out of summer
Going down to the beaches to sit
And write all the words that wouldn't come

I couldn't stop the feeling,
The reckless shiver in the hot sunshine,
That dangerous linger of knowing I'm not ready for you to be so close,
An anchor deep within me,
Keeping me docked in your bay,
Today's an everyday for the girls you've never met,
I laugh and I smile, it takes some of my time
I know if I let myself alone
I'll fall in the reality you made so surreal

I test myself on your behalf
Thinking if I can pin the feeling (in half)
And capture the seed, I can grow it another day
I ask myself (is this what I want)
Even if I steered clear
of your firing line (get in line)
I know those bullets would
Find their route to me.