Shadowhunter Chronicles Imagines/ One-Shots | REQUESTS ARE CLOSED

simon lewis : aren't you afraid

Simon paced around his room, his hands jittery as they ran from his hair to his pockets and back. He ran around his room tidying up - picking up dirty clothes and throwing them in the hamper, shoving things into his closet, attempting to make his bed - and cleaning.

Simon glanced over at his night stand, eyes landing on a picture frame he had gotten recently. His girlfriend, (Y/N), had given it to him; it was a picture of the two of them. She had taken it, a selfie of sorts, she was kissing his cheek with her hand pressed to his opposite cheek. They were both smiling, Simons the wife in a goofy sort of way.

Today he had to tell her, he had to tell her that one night a few weeks ago he had died and become a vampire. That was why he had been acting so odd - ignoring her phone calls, cancelling plans, refusing to see her in the daytime - because he couldn't do any of those things. Simon could tell that she was getting annoyed with him, and that she was reaching her breaking point. If he didn't tell her know he was bound to lose her.

He thanked everything good in his life that his sister and mother weren't home, he couldn't image them being here when he told (Y/N) - he hadn't even told them yet. Jace and the other Shadowhunters had told him not to tell anyone, and Raphael had told him he couldn't tell anyone. But how could he just leave the ones he loved?

Simons rushed out of his room when he heard a knock at the door, moving with vampire speed and almost falling into door as he stopped. He pulled the door back, almost gasping at the sight in front of him.

It had been weeks since he had seen her, he had almost forgot how stunning she was. She was dressed in simple black leggings, with vans on her feet and no socks showing. On top she has a white and black stripped top, with a large jean jacket on top. Her hair was in a half-up do, pulled into a messy bun on top and tied with a velvet scrunchie.

"Hi." Simon whispered, unable to speak above a soft tone.

She smiled at him, but didn't say anything as he ushered her inside. The first thing she noticed was that Simon wasn't wearing his glasses, instead it seemed like he was wearing contacts. (Y/N) also noticed that all the blinds were drawn shut, which was unusual for the Lewis house hold. It also seemed to her that no one else was in the apartment, to which she was thankful for. This didn't seem like a conversation that she wanted his mother and sister to hear.

Simon didn't say anything else as they entered his room, opening the door for her like always before shutting it quietly behind them. He watched her, her eye wondering across the room. Simons could see her taking note of the large changes in his room - the blinds shut, bed shoved into a corner, desk now gone - and she crinkled her nose.

(Y/N) cleared her throat, turning to look at him. "You wanted to talk?" She reminded him, her back straight.

It seemed to Simon that she was attempting to distance herself from the situation. Something she only did when she was afraid of getting hurt, that idea made his stomach turn.

"Yeah, please sit." Simon practically begged, grasping her hands and pulling her towards the bed.

She could feel his hands, no longer warm but ice cold, as they shook. (Y/N) followed his guidance, both of them sinking down into his bed. Why were his hands shaking, wasn't he the one who wanted to have this conversation.

If anyone was to be nervous it should be her, she had no idea what he was going to say. It had been weeks since she had seen him, and in that time they had barely spoke. Every time (Y/N) tried to call or text him she would get one worded responses and his dial tone.

"I know I've been really distant and I've been an awful boyfriend." Simon admitted, his cold hands drawing shapes on her hot skin. He sighed, "And I know I shouldn't try to justify my actions but something happened a couple weeks back that I should tell you about." His voice shook now, his nerves now clear in his time.

(Y/N) felt her stomach tighten, the nerves in his tone now rising in her chest. Her mind ran wild with ideas of what he could be ready to tell her.
Maybe he met realized he had fallen out of love with her, that idea made her head spin, thinking of all the possibilities of how she had pushed him to that realization. Maybe he met someone else, Simon was a lovable guy that anyone could love. Maybe he cheated on her, that idea alone made (Y/N) sick to her stomach, because Simon had never been the type of guy to wreck someone like that.

"A couple weeks ago I went to Pandemonium with Clary, for her birthday." Simon started, trying to memorize the features of her face - since this could be the last time he ever saw her.

(Y/N)'s chest tighten when the story started with Clary's name. When she had first met Simon he was still head over heels for his red-hair best friend. It wasn't that she was jealous, but she was always slightly worried that Simon would drop her given the chance to be with Clary.

Simon met her eyes, "This defiantly isn't going to make any sense so please just let me finish before saying anything and be open minded." He pleaded, his voice now raw but smooth.

(Y/N) nodded, feeling her throat close from anxiety of what was to come. She hated having conversations like this, for some reason she felt like he was about to break up with her, but it didn't sound like it. He sounded like he was apologizing to her for something, why did she feel so nervous?

"I died." Not being able to find any other way to say it Simon found himself blurting out the ending of his story. He watched (Y/N)'s eyes narrow in confusion and doubt rise on her face. "Clary and a couple other people, in order to save me, had to burry me." This story was making no sense and Simon knew that, but he wasn't sure what else he was going to say. "But obviously dying didn't stick, so now I'm a-" He stopped mid-sentence. Simon debated telling her it was all a joke that he was sorry for being so distant, but he knew he couldn't do that. "(Y/N) I'm a vampire." Was the best Simon could come up with, holding his breath when he finished.

(Y/N) blinked, trying to process the information she had just taken in. She wasn't sure if she believed him, it seemed a little far fetched. But then she thought of that fact that she hadn't seen him outside in the day light in weeks. She thought of how he no longer had on his glasses. She thought of how the blinds were drawn. She thought of how cold his hands were.

"Okay." (Y/N) said softly, her voice barely audible even in the quiet room.

Simon had expected her to tell him he was lying, or to run away from him kicking up dirt behind her. He was shocked to see how calm she was, sitting across from him and still holding his hands.

He spoke next, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" Simons asked, as much as that was a dangerous question to ask her, Simon needed to know.

She smiled, tilting her head back and let out a soft laugh, "Seriously? I have worse nightmares about failing AP Chem." (Y/N) told him, watching all the nerves leave his body just her had moments ago. "And I'm not going to lie to you I thought you were going to break up with me." She laughed, clenching Simon hand tightly.

Simon tilted his head to the side, "I half expected you to break up around me." He admitted, if he could have blushed Simon would have.

(Y/N) smiled, she didn't care that he was a vampire. She cared that he was with him and safe, and that was what she had been most worried about for weeks now. Although she wasn't completely sure if she believed him it was nice to finally hear the truth, or some form of it, from the boy she loved.

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A/N
Word Count: 1472