Secrets Left Neglected

Chapter 71

Caoilainn

I place the call box back on the bedside table and use a white towel to help air dry my hair. As I look around my hospital room I smile. My bags are packed and I'm ready to go when Duncan and my mom arrive.

I'm still sore, but the witch hazel has been very helpful in the healing process. I don't think it will be long before I'm feeling myself again. I didn't gain too much weight while I was pregnant and our son is a voracious eater. I was up numerous times last night to feed him. I close my tired eyes and sigh. I push my elbows back to help stretch out my chest and then bring them forward to stretch out my back. It's a little cramped from the way I slept, or rather did not sleep last night.

I wince when my arms brush against my chest. I'm swollen from the milk that has come in. I wonder how long the nurse will be in returning my son to me. She offered to watch him while I showered. Now that I'm done, I want to get a feeding in before everyone arrives.

As if reading my mind, I hear the door open behind me and turn at the sound of some serious fist sucking. My little man is knawling on his right fist like it's been dipped in peanut butter. "Oh look at you!" I coo, reaching out to take him from the nurse's arms. "Hungry again, are you?"

The nurse laughs in response. "Oh, he's hungry all right. He's been sucking on his little hand for the last ten minutes. He'll be happy to be back in your arms, dear."

The nurse looks around the room and takes in the already made bed and my bags. "You didn't have to do all this."

"It was no trouble, really. I'd feel rude leaving it all messed up," I explain, seating myself comfortably on the nearby sofa, using a pillow from my bed to prop the baby up high enough to feed. When he latches on I wince and then breathe a sigh of relief when the milk releases.

I'm still trying to get the hang of this process. Thankfully the lactation consultant who taught our class was a wiz at showing us the ins and outs of it all. You'd think it'd be easy, women having done this for centuries and all, but there are some surprises I had no idea about. Having attended the classes on breastfeeding has made all the difference in the world.

"You're a natural, sweetheart," the nurse observes out loud. "Let me go get your discharge papers while you feed him. You can sign them and then you'll be all set when your mother arrives. I'll be right back."

"Thank you," I call out to her as she retreats into the hall, tucking the door closed behind her.

At the sound of his gulping, I look down and smile. "Duncan Ruari Gibbons," I say, laughing. "You are going to be a big boy, aren't you? Only a few days old and you already have quite the appetite! Wait until your Daddy sees you. He's going to be so happy to meet you."

I brush a red wisp of hair across Duncan's brow and can't help but stare at him. Our little miracle. I'm so glad that Tadhg reconciled with his father before he disappeared these last few months. When we spoke on the phone last night, deciding on our son's name and catching up, I felt so much better about things.

When we get to Jenny's Uncle's, Tadhg and I are planning to go over to the local court house to make our marriage official in the eyes of the law and to change our last names. Tadhg is taking his father's last name and I couldn't be happier for him.

Thinking about the future, I lean my head back on the couch while Duncan suckles. There are so many things we still have to learn. So many things still to come. Some will be good but I know many will be hard.

Tadhg and I have a lot to tackle with his condition. After speaking with him, I got on the phone with Jenny's Uncle Artair. He's going to help us get Tadhg into an experimental therapy group at the Veteran's Hospital he works at. It looks like I'll be moving out there for a few months instead of bringing Tadhg home right away. I feel more hopeful than I have in days. We still have to wait a number of more months for a service dog, but I'm trying to take things one day at a time.