Tadhg
"What's your problem, Tadhg?" Ruari hollers, coming at me head on, thrusting his hands against my shoulders forcefully. I stumble off balance but keep my feet under me. Caught surprised, but too angry to think first, I shove Ruari back before I'm fully grounded, overstepping and sliding into the mud at our feet.
"Son of a-" I start to shout, thrashing the mud up at Ruari's leg, from which he easily side steps.
Leaning down, Ruari grabs me by the shirt fronts and pulls me up in a fury. "That's right. Say it. Son of a bitch, huh?" He snarls. "You got some nerve saying anything to me. The way you just spoke to Caoilainn in there was bad enough, but then you did it with all our customers sitting out in the pub, too. I oughta throttle you."
Knocking his hands from my chest, I move in closer until I'm inches from his face. "Go ahead, then, Ruari. Come on. Hit me. I deserve it. Do it."
"Fuck you, Tadhg," he replies tossing me away from him. He's pissed at me and I can tell by the vein popping in his forehead that he wants nothing more than to pound on me. "I'm not hitting you."
"Why not?" I challenge him. "You afraid I might beat your ass?" I'm out of my head, having lost all sense of reason. This injury has taken me over and I'm off my rocker with anger. The whole situation is under my skin like a bad rash.
"Beat my ass?" Ruari asks disbelievingly. "Are you kidding me right now? Do you even hear yourself?" Ruari stalks in a circle stomping around the garden rocks like he wants to smash one. Instead, he gets back in my face and squints at me like he's barely maintaining reign over his temper. Suddenly, as if to put some distance between us, he turns to walk away and sit on a rock.
Getting comfortable, he looks down at his hands, rubbing one against the other as he collects himself. Not trusting myself to speak, I keep my mouth shut and wait.
"Do you know what it was like to watch Caoilainn teach class one minute and then suddenly come upon her as a puddle of blood formed beneath her the next?"
Ruari stands up again with barely contained fury and begins to pace a track into the helpless blades of grass beneath his tromping feet. Stopping to hold his breathe before releasing it forcefully, he continues his verbal assault against me. "To watch it grow, helpless to stop it, all the while thinking that she's going to die right before your eyes and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it?" He yelled at me.
"Can you imagine being the one to tell her that her daughter is dead?" He whispered mournfully, cracking something inside the both of us.
I shudder at his words instinctively as he continues quietly, the energy he did have now spent, leaving him empty and hollow-looking.
"Yeah, well," he says catching my eye. "I know. I did it. While you were gone overseas, I was here for her. When she got the call about you being hurt, she cried in my arms all night. I'm her brother and I'll always be here for Caoilainn, but I'm not the only person who needs to be. You do, too. You're her husband, Tadhg. Not me," he says, tugging the hair at the back of his neck angrily.
"Caoilainn has been through a lot in these last two years. A lot. You're suffering, Tadhg, but so is she. What you're going through sucks. Big time. But, you're not alone in this. Caoilainn is right there with you in the trenches," he lectures me.
When I try to interject, he holds a hand up to cut me off so he can continue uninterrupted. Sitting down again, he looks up at me and shakes his head. "While you're busy running your mouth off at her, she's doing her best to keep herself and the house and everything else afloat."
"I know you're going through a lot right now. Your neglect is nothing I can relate to, but I'm telling you, Tadhg, you're effing things up big time with Caoilainn. And the shit needs to stop. You gotta tighten it up, man. Get your shit together a little bit more."
"You think I want to be like this, Ruari? You have no idea what-" I start to say.
"Like hell I don't!" he yells at me mid-sentence, standing up like a jack-in-a-box. "I do know. Not like you. Not like you, but dammit, you're not the only one relearning everything, brother. This whole situation is hard on us, too. We're doing our best to help but, fuck man, you gotta give a little, too."
"I'm trying!" I reply exasperated.
"Then try harder, Tadhg," he answers me. "Cause you're losing Caoilainn. You're losing her."
"Caoilainn would never leave me," I respond apprehensively.
Would she?
"No?" Ruari asks rhetorically. "Well, she doesn't have to physically leave you does she?"
"What?" I ask, not understanding his reasoning. "What does that mean?"
"Just because she's here, doesn't mean she's here," he answers holding his hand over his heart. "You need to think about her a little more than you do. I don't like seeing Caoilainn like this. She's my sister-."
"She's my wife!" I holler back, unable to wait for Ruari to finish.
"Yes, she is, damn it!" He yells, pounding a fist into his opposite hand. "So start treating her like it!"
With that, Ruari stomps back inside to leave me alone in my own misery.
_______________
On-Line Resource for Caregivers:
Title: Taking Care ofYourself: 10 Tips for Survivors and Family Members
Website: https://www.brainline.org/article/taking-care-yourself-10-tips-survivors-and-family-members.
By: Kreutzer, J. and Livingston, L.; The National Resource Center for Traumatic Brain Injury, Virginia Commonwealth Model Systems of Care
Published On: Brainline on June 19, 2009
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Title: Five Strategies for Finding Peace in the Turbulence of Caregiving
Website: https://www.brainline.org/blog/learning-accident/five-strategies-finding-peace-turbulence-caregiving.
By: Rawlins, R., Caregiver
Published On: Brainline on June 12, 2013
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YOU ARE READING
Secrets Left Neglected
Romance© 2018 Written by A. E. F. All Rights Reserved. READ THIS NOVEL SECOND, OR STAND ALONE. Caoilainn has loved him since they were eight years old. But she has a secret. Or two. Tadhg has been in the dark most of his life. It's time to come clean. ...
