Secrets Left Neglected

Chapter 1A

How to Pronounce Irish Character Names:

Fionn sounds like "Fin".

Siofra sounds like "She-frah".

Ruari sounds like "Roar-ree".

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...SOME YEARS LATER IN HIGH SCHOOL

Caoilainn

I finger the homemade paper in my hand, anxiously waiting by the side of the fire for my turn. It's Friday night and the sun set two hours ago. I can see Tadhg off to the left, laughing with Walker, Cian and Fionn. I think they're talking about one of last year's rugby games. Brody caused a lot of excitement on the field. He was doing really well and I know Tadhg is excited for this year's coming season in a few weeks. Fionn and him laugh about something Cian says and I smile.

I look down at the note I have folded in my hand and thank goodness no one can see what it says.

Since starting high school we've gathered around the Yule log to burn our intentions for the coming year. Some people wish for good health, others money, and I bet, lots for love. I'm no different; I'm wishing for that, too. Not that it's anything new; I wish for the same thing every year; for Tadhg to notice me.

Don't get me wrong, Tadhg's always there for me. He's my best friend in the whole world, but I'm eager for the day when he wipes the dust from his eyes and sees that I want to be more. That I've been waiting for him to be ready.

I've been putting out hints more and more this past year. We're still pretty young, but now that I'm approaching seventeen, I think it's time for me to push the envelope a little bit.

I'm scared, though, what if he doesn't like me the way I like him?

Or what if he does?

What if he does?

Am I ready for that?

I shuffle my feet and look down at my folded note again.

Crap!

What if I make this wish and he-"

"Caoilainn?" he says to me, startling me out of my thoughts. "You okay over here?"

Tadhg looks at me with concern and turns his head to get a better read on me. I quickly duck my chin so he can't see me blushing.

What if he can tell what I was thinking?

I glance up at Tadhg quickly. Then I rush to put my chin back down again before he realizes that I'm staring.

"Caoilainn, what's wrong?" he asks, his concern growing.

"Nothing," I say a little too cheerfully. My teeth are probably glistening from the light of the bonfire as I smile manically. "I'm good. I'm just-"

I cut myself off when I realize Tadhg can see my folded intention bouncing in my hand like a beacon. I quickly tuck the note behind my back and try to hide it before he notices. I roll on the soles of my feet with nervous energy. "I was just thinking, that's all. No big deal."

"You're sure?" Tadhg asks me skeptically. "For a minute, you looked like something was bothering you," he continues.

"Hey, what are you hiding behind your back?" He asks teasingly. When he leans forward to reach for my hand, I yelp.

"No!" I shout. "I mean," I say quieter this time, a quiver of fear threading through my voice. "it's nothing. Just...it's just an intention for the Yule log. No big deal."