The Lives We Lived

24: For Love's sake.

"Zainab. Zainab," Farida hollered.  Zainab forced her eyes open,  wiping away the salty tears that had pooled behind her eyelids. She was miles away from her devilish husband.  She was far away from anyone who could hurt her and she wanted to start over.  She wanted nothing more than to forget Bode but how could she when his seed lived in her?

"Farida."

The bed sank under her weight as she sat upright, opening her eyes in time to see Farida walking into the room with a tray. The door remained open as she stared at the content of the tray; a glass of orange juice, a plate of fried rice and a deep fried chicken lap stared back at her.  A cry wedded a fresh bout of tears as it escaped her lips.

"What's wrong?" Farida dropped the plate on the dressing table.  She walked back to the bed and flung her arms around Zainab's neck. Zainab's eyes fell to Farida's bulging stomach. A myriad of contrasting feelings was tossed in her heart. On one hand,  she envied Farida's bump.  On the other, she wasn't sure she wanted to bring Bode's child into the world.She wasn't even sure that this child would survive and even if it did, would it have a future in Bode's home? 

"It's nothing. Nothing." She tried to swallow her sobs,  pressing her knuckles against her teeth.

Farida shot her a stern look,  pulling away but remaining seated on the bed.  "You know better than to tell me that."

"It's not something you should worry about." Zainab said.  Adebayo choose that moment to let his eyelids flutter open.  His piercing cry echoed in the room that had long been empty before Zainab occupied it that evening. Zainab took her time to walk to the cot Farida borrowed her. She picked him up and propped him on her shoulder,  patting his back to still his cries. 

She stared hard at her friend's face. Farida's slim bodice had reincarnated into a fleshy feminine beauty. Farida had weight in all the right places. Even Farida's spot ridden face had cleared to reveal a space fairer than Zainab's. Zainab felt something akin to jealousy raging in her heart.  Farida that used to struggle with everything  was now a wealthy woman expecting her third child. This Faria was currently  boasting of a baby bump.  So why?  Why did Farida need to hold the one thing that gave her a sense of purpose in life.  She tightened her hold on Bayo so much that he started to squirm and squeal. 

"You'll  have more than enough time when your baby comes, " She assured her friend.  Farida's face morphed into a shocked look before fading to its natural graceful features.

"Just come and eat. You must be very hungry." Farida's voice was fim and emotionless. Zainab knew that Farida's had always been one to conceal any emotion she felt. She hadn't been able to learn to master emotion concealment until Bode embarrassed her in front of his friends.  It only took a couple of well placed insults, some jabs and the support of his chauvinistic friends. Particularly that Dennis Amansi.  She could not forget the glee in the man's eyes as Bode gave her what he had termed 'polish and shine.'

"I'm not hungry. " Zainab refused to stare at the food.  It was the same meal she had prepared for her ingrate of a husband on the day that she had found out about his infidelity.

"And I'm my ancestors' ancestor.  Shut up and eat jhoor. "  Farida's placed the tray on the bed and stuck the fork into the plate of rice. "If you won't eat, let me feed you."

Zainab had no time to protest as Farida's stuck the forkful of rice in her mouth.  She chewed on the food to appease Farida. Farida's dug the fork into the rice as she spoke,  "and if you won't talk,  I'll do all the talking."

"Do you know how happy I was when you crashed my wedding? Nothing made me happier than the fact that you came.  Not even the fact that I was marrying Eniola." Zainab's heart shuddered. If only she'd been a little accepting. A little more patient then she could've been living  Farida's life.  But she had never loved Eniola.  She'd only had eyes for Bode. It would have been unfair to Eniola.