Single Mom // Michael Clifford.

9.

I was back at my place without Annora and I felt like a huge asshole mostly because I was still pestered and annoyed and sad about this entire situation. I missed her, already. Maybe that's how pathetic I am, I can't even be mad at my kid without wanting to cuddle her and talk about stupid things with her. I knew Michael wouldn't drop her here because he knew it wouldn't be cool and that's why after 15 minutes I got a text from Elinda.

Elinda: Annora will be staying here for the night. Michael filled me in about everything and I am really disappointed with you.

I ignored it. She was disappointed? About what? About me being insecure that my child likes everyone around me more than I do? She doesn't have to take care of a child while not having a proper job. She doesn't have to hear people taking a jab at her about how she's an awful mother. Her boyfriend did not leave her when she was pregnant. She doesn't have to raise a baby without a having the child's father around. And she was disappointed?

I heard a knock on my door and I had no motivation to go and open the door, I did not want Michael to be here and give another lecture and tell me how disappointed he is with me.

"I don't wanna talk," I said as I let him in.

"I am here to talk," he said simply.

"I said I don't want to," I replied.

"Its pretty obvious that I don't care about what you say," he shrugged.

"What the fuck is your problem?" I snapped at him.

"My problem is that you don't understand how it was not Annora's fault,"

"I am aware of that," I replied.

"Why do you think she likes me more?" he asked, "Sel, you're her mother."

"I don't know!" I flustered, "I really don't fucking know why I feel that. Probably because everyone just makes me feel like I'm a bad parent,"

"You're not a bad parent," he stepped closer, "God. Why would you even think that?"

"Because..." I trailed off, "I don't know. Its just so hard, sometimes,"

I felt like crying but I couldn't do it, not in front of him. I don't know why but whenever you ask yourself to  not cry, you end up crying. And there I was - crying. Not literally. But kind of. In tears in front of Michael.

"Hey. Don't cry," he stepped even closer and wiped the tears off my face, "I don't know what Annora did to deserve the scene in Pizza Hut,"

"I don't know what I did to deserve all of this," I muttered, "I am sorry. I am sorry for embarrassing you."

"You did not embarrass me, it just really upset Annora," he sighed.

"Is she okay?" I asked eagerly.

"She was really upset and she thinks you don't like her anymore,"

"Is she stupid?" I replied back instantly, "I love her. I miss her so much. I'm scared that she hates me now!"

"Are you stupid?" he asked me, "you're both stupid, actually. She just wanted another pizza and she's learned that you give her everything when she does that, you know? Like 'michael uncle would do that', 'elinda aunt would let me eat ice cream'"

"I know," I replied, "because she knows I want her to have everything and not feel like I'm a lame excuse of a mother,"

"You're not a lame excuse of a mother, you're actually a very good mom," he shook his head.

I had stopped crying now and I thought it would be better if I actually let Michael in the house and sit down and talk.

"Why don't you come in?" I offered, "we can sit down and talk,"

"Okay," he replied, "but firstly, I want you to know that I don't think you suck at parenting and I am really sorry that I made you feel that way,"

"No," I replied, "Its just... Its just that everyone can see how Annora needs a dad but nobody can see how I need someone by my side too! Being a single parent sucks and people are just out there to point out your flaws. Like, you don't do one thing and bam! You're the suckiest parent of the world!"

"I know," he replied, "Okay, we should sit down," he said and walked towards the bedroom and sat down on my bed.

"I'm sorry for just blowing up on you," I muttered as I sat down next to him.

He snuggled closer to me and took my hand, "Look, Sel," he said, "I know it is tough for you, I know. I've seen it myself. I'm not saying that I've completely known you in these two months, but I have known a few things about you. You're absolutely amazing at handling all of this, I salute you on that one. Me or Elinda or Luke or anyone can't replace what you've done for Annora,"

"That's the thing," I was about to cry again, "People just say all of this and leave. They don't know anything. I want to be loved, I want to be emotionally stable, too. Something only my boyfriend could have given me. Handling a baby when you're just 22 with no job and your boyfriend around is so tough, sometimes. It's hard to breathe. I want to be loved! I don't want people giving me weird stares because I have a child! I don't want sympathy! I want love! I want attention, I want to be pampered!" I flustered.

He then cupped my face and looked at me for a good 10 seconds, "You are loved, okay? You're loved by all of us -"

"That's not the kind of love I am talking about -" I was going to say but I was cut off by his lips.

For a second I froze, I did not know what to do and then I kissed him back, slowly, but I leaned in too. His lips, god, they were so intoxicating. I had no idea his lips would feel so good. I had always known that Michael liked me, but I never took it seriously. He was just 20 years old, he probably doesn't even know what he's going to get into if he starts liking me in a way that's not a normal small crush, but god. His lips were amazing. So good.

He broke the kiss, "If you just let me in, I swear, I swear to god, you will never feel alone again,"

"Michael," I sighed, "Its not that easy. I have a baby, and you have a career ahead, this isn't some high school thing,"

"I know," he replied, a little annoyed, "I kissed you with my whole heart, you know? I really like you and I am aware of you having a baby, who I love a lot. We can just try? I don't know, Sel, you drive me crazy,"

"You're playing with fire," I simply said.

He pressed his lips against mine, again and mumbled, "Just give a chance,"