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"Let's get lit, bitches!" Corinna passed me the shot glass, which I eagerly took and gulped down. I was in a tiny black dress with a pink sash around my body, bedazzled with the words Bride To Be! It was a couple days before David and I's wedding (because I didn't want to be hungover the day of), and I was at my bachelorette party.

So far, we were at David's house (because David's bachelor party was at Jason and Todd's) and getting super drunk for no reason other than the fact that you were supposed to at bridal party events. Corinna and Aaliyah were the ones who planned the whole thing (bless their hearts), and I was pretty sure we were going to a club later, but for now, Corinna, Kristen, Natalie, Mariah, Carly, Erin, Aaliyah, Liza, Trisha, Hidaya (who was sober, of course) and I were sitting in the living room, getting drunk and gorging ourselves on Chickfila.

Zane wanted to come with us for the night as he was "one of the girls" forever and my favorite out of all of David's friends, but David eventually convinced him that he should be with the boys. Kind of rude and unfair, since Zane made any party he went to, but we would be fine without him. At least we wouldn't break anything in the house tonight.

About ten minutes into our feast, people began to cheer for a speech, and I laughed, clambering up onto the pool table in my high heels and hoping I wouldn't die or hit my head on the ceiling. I was still shoving waffle fries in my mouth as I began, "Alright, alright, I'll give a fucking speech!"

Everyone laughed, and I noticed a few were recording. I knew all the footage would be confiscated for David's vlog eventually, and he was going to hear everything I had to say about him, love and marriage. In my slightly inebriated state, I didn't care much.

"First of all, none of you were my friends before I met David, so thank you all for making me less of a loser and giving me girlfriends. I've never had any before, besides my bitch Aaliyah of course, and it means a lot to me that you guys were my friends even when I was the slut that got knocked up in a one night stand," a few people cheered at that, and I even heard someone yell David's the slut! which made me very happy.

"Now, I guess I should talk about David," I giggled, squatting to dip another fry in some honey mustard. "I mean, you all know David. He's like a five year old in a twenty three year old's body, and he is so good with Luke. He's annoying as hell and crazy and keeps bring the flamethrower into my house when I've told him a million times not to... but I love him. I have never loved someone who wasn't a total piece of shit, and it's scary and raw and crazy, but it's so worth it. We have a perfect little family, and it's going to be even more perfect when we're married. So cheers, bitches, to marriage!"

"To marriage!" the rest of the girls chanted, and we all raised our plastic champagne glasses in a toast, guzzling down the bubbly alcohol together.

With a little help from Mariah and Aaliyah, I got down from the pool table, laughing when I noticed the dust on my shoes had left footprints all over it. I tried to wipe them off, but they barely budged, so I left them alone.

We drank and ate a little too much and did some karaoke (I sung my favorite of all time: Fergalicious). It was overall one of the most eventful nights of my life, and definitely the most drunk I had gotten since my freshman year of college. Coupled with the fact that I hadn't drank in forever because I was breastfeeding for the past year, it was... wild. I was pretty much blacked out after three or four shots and a few glasses of champagne. I didn't even remember the stripper coming, which I knew would've been the highlight of my night otherwise. Corinna misinterpreted the name Sam to be a male stripper, and with no pictures to go off, a pretty, petite blonde showed up to our party. I don't remember it, but apparently, we paid her just to hang out for an hour and she ended up staying until everyone else left.

David's party, I learned from the vlog he posted, was pretty similar to ours. They went to Buca di Beppo beforehand and took a party bus home, which always got crazy when David was around. They got drunk at Jason's house, messed around in the pool for a while, drunkenly danced for the camera... anything in a typical David party vlog, they did. David's party host, Todd, got him two male strippers, probably on purpose, and Zane ended up dancing with them. It seemed fun and made me miss Zane at ours.

David and I were reunited the next day: safe, happy, and hungover. We picked up Luke from his sleepover at Uncle Michael's and got breakfast at IHOP, mainly because Luke was begging and we were too lazy to cook.

"So..." David started off his questioning. "How was your party?"

"Fun," I replied, combing some of my hair behind my ears to free my face. "We ate Chickfila and got drunk. Pretty simple. I missed Zane."

"You're so jealous we got him," David laughed, teasingly poking me in the side. "He was really fun. We went to Buca di Beppo."

"Spending all my money, Dobrik?" I teased. "We gotta have that for the honeymoon."

"Hawaii," he grinned. "I cannot wait to be in Hawaii with you. Also, did Aaliyah say yes?"

"To coming?" I asked, and when he confirmed, I answered, "Yeah, she did."

Our plan was this: we didn't want to not have Luke with us on our first real vacation as a family, but we all know what goes down on honeymoons. I, personally, didn't want to subject Luke to that kind of childhood trauma. Aaliyah agreed to come with us, hotel paid for, of course, to stay in a room a couple floors below us and keep Luke on the nights when he probably shouldn't be with us.

"Did you have a stripper at your party?" he asked awkwardly after a few minutes of silence. I laughed out loud at that one.

"Yes, David," I said, and I watched his body deflate a little. "She was a pretty little blonde girl named Sam, and she never even took her clothes off. I loved her. No, I did not cheat on you."

"Okay, okay," he rolled his eyes playfully. "Can't blame a guy for worrying. C'mon, we're here. Get your big headed baby out of the car."

"Didn't I tell you he had your big head?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's go."





aww cute bantering and BACHELORETTE PARTY BITCHESSSSS hehehehehehehehehe

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