Esme's Diary

Chapter 13 - Flames

Dear Diary,

People always say that two wrongs don’t make a right, on this occasion I think I would have to disagree though. Charles definitely deserved a taste of his own medicine; he deserved to know what it felt like to be humiliated. What he has made me endure for the last 3 years is nothing short of repulsive. I had always known, in my heart, that Charles wouldn’t allow us to get away with humiliating him like that that easily. We will still have to leave, leave everyone that we know and love in order to save this life growing inside me.

How am I going to tell Johnathon? I wondered to myself as I sat downstairs watching the sun rise. The nerves of telling him and the constant urge to use the bathroom causing my insomnia. What if he thought I was trapping him into staying with me? What if he didn’t want children yet? STOP IT. I told myself angrily, Johnathon was nothing like Charles, he would be happy thrilled about our little surprise.

Before I could change my mind I marched back upstairs with a fresh cup of tea in my hands for Johnathon. I would tell him now, No backing out.

“Johnathon? Wake up my love.” Placing the cup on the side as I sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Mmmm?” He mumbled, still asleep, wrapping his arms around me and pulling into a tight embrace. “Come back to bed” He grumbled, his eyes still firmly shut.

“No darling, I have to talk to you.” As I said the words that meant I could no longer back out of telling him the nerves intensified. The feeling of nausea took over my body. I scrambled out of Johnathon’s embrace and rushed to the toilet, reaching it just in time.

“Damn Damn Damn” I muttered to myself as I wiped my mouth and began to brush my teeth, I couldn’t bear to look at Johnathon as he looked into the bathroom, his eyes wide with worry.

“Esme?” He asked the worry in his voice evident instantly. “What’s wrong?”

Johnathon couldn’t see the smile that was forming as I brushed my teeth, Men I thought to myself. They really are oblivious. Placing my toothbrush back in the holder I turned to face Johnathon and took a large breath.

“Maybe we should go and sit down?” I said taking Johnathon’s hand I pulled him softly back to the bedroom. Nervously I sat on the end of the bed.

“Esme, are you ok? Is there anything I can do?” Johnathon asked again nervously.

“Johnathon I am fine” I smiled at him. “In fact I am more than fine.”

Johnathon just stared at me waiting for answers. “Your scaring me now Esme.”

“Johnathon, I don’t know if there is a right way or wrong way of saying this so I’m just going to come straight out with it,” I take a deep breath, “Johnathon, I’m Pregnant.”

I watched nervously at his reaction, he didn’t move for 65 seconds, I know this because I counted, every single second. Slowly a smile crept over his lips as it grew bigger, spreading across his face I let out the breath I didn’t realise I had been holding.

"What?...I mean...are you?" he choked, tears starting to well in his eyes. I took a deep breathe, smiling wildly as I nodded.

"Esme, this is wonderful!" he cried, leaping towards me and pulling me up into his arms before spinning me around the room. "But when did you...?" he asked, happy tears now flowing freely down his face, as he set me gently back down on the floor.

"A few days before Charles got home" I replied.

"Why didn’t you tell me my love?”

“I wanted to be sure that our plan with Charles would work, and I thought that if I told you then maybe just maybe you would have done something you would regret. And also, I knew you wouldn’t let me be alone with him, we needed the plan to work so now we can finally be together” I reply, smiling as my love can’t stop grinning at me. Like a child that has just been allowed to buy whatever they want from a candy store. "Are you really happy?" I asked,