Little Miss Zerrie

Chapter 39

••Sophie••

I woke up Ben jumping on me. I groaned and threw a pillow at him. He stopped and sat on my bed, next to me.

" yes ?" I asked and he had this big smile on his face. I instantly became scared as reasons why he would be smiling like that roamed through my head.

" guess what !" He says, his smile not changing. Now I'm scared. I should be right ? No, no I shouldn't be scared.

" what ?" I asked, not bothering to guess why he's so smiley.

" NANA IS COMING HOME !" Who knew that those four words could make my heart stop and my stomach drop.

" yay !" I said, trying to sound excited. I tried so hard to be excited for him but I couldn't.

" aren't you happy ?" He asked, looking at me with his bright blue eyes. His blonde hair was all over the place and it looked like he just woke up.

" of course I am Ben !" I said and laid back, staring at the white ceiling.

" is it because of what we talked about a month ago ?" He asked and I nodded, swallowing my tears so I didn't look like a baby.

" I'm glad she's back but I don't want you to go Ben.. You and becca are my only friends and I feel like becca is leaving me also. She's been with Michael and Ashton all the time. " I said, tears filling my eyes and wanting to fall.

" I'm not leaving you Sophie. Why can't you believe me ? Do you not trust me ?" He asked, hurt ran through his voice. That made my heart hurt more.

" no. I do, I swear I do. I just feel like everyone is leaving me so you might.." I say and turn on my side, away from him.

" no ones leaving you baby.." I heard dad's voice say and if it was possible, my heart hurt even more.

" it seems like it. You and all the boys are leaving for tour again in a month, becca has been with Michael and Ashton, auntie Dani is going to America, auntie Eleanor doesn't really come over anymore, auntie jade, Jesy, Leigh-ann and mum have to record this month and nana's home so he will be with her." I explain, not moving. Tears fell and I felt weak.

" oh soph.." He says and next thing I know, I am being shoved into a beat hug. " I'm so sorry Sophie. I didn't know you felt that way."

" no one did. Don't be sorry. I should be sorry. I'm over reacting over nothing. I should be used to this, my old family was never around either. " I said and pulled away from him.

" no. Do not compare us to your other family, please. I wanted us to never be like your other family.. I failed." He said and that made my heart hurt more. When is this going to end ?

" I'm going to go to the park or on a walk.. I'll be back." I say and stand up, walking out my door. I put on shoes and just walked out the door.

I heard dad say my name but mum told him that I needed to cool off and think about some things and that I will be back.

I shouldn't have said that, right ? I mean, they are nothing like my other family. I regret saying everything but I can't unsay it and I feel so bad. Why did I have to say that ? The look on his face when I did made me want to cry more than I already wanted too. I wish I could just back and made myself happier for Ben. I mean, it's his Nana that he has been with his whole life. Iv just been with him for a few months. How could I be so selfish?!

I reached the park and just sat down in the grass. I was under the exact same tree I brought Ben to meet mum at. Memories flashed through my head and I smiled.