Love Letters to Sally || Louis Tomlinson

14.

14.

"Louis?"

"Yeah?"

"I need to tell you something that you may not want to hear." Harry speaks softly into the phone. My heart beats rapidly hearing this. What was wrong? Was he or Liam leaving the band? Was Niall okay?

"Okay." I answer instead of asking questions. I swallow hard when I hear him sigh into the receiver before speaking,

"It's about Niall." Harry stays silent for a couple of seconds. "The doctors found another internal bleeding in him."

"Where is the bleeding at?" I ask nervously. Sitting down on the couch, I lean my elbows upon my knees running my fingertips through my messy hair. This was not the news you wanted the day after you visit them in the hospital.

"It's around his heart." His voice breaks. I bite my lip and look up at my ceiling rubbing the back of my neck. Warm tears fill into my eyes but I promise myself not to cry. "Louis, are you there?"

"Yeah, I'm here." I whisper.

"The doctor says that he will need to go into heart surgery right away, or his heart will stop due to the shortage of blood not pumping through the arteries."

"When does he go into surgery?"

"Tonight." I allow a small tear roll down my cheek. I don't even bother wiping it away. He was doing so well? What had changed in less than twenty-four hours? "I'm sure he'll be okay."

"We don't know that for sure Harry."

"I know, but it's better to think positive than negative." I nod my head and finally wipe the tears away. I hated crying, I always felt weak when I did.

"Okay." We talk for another five minutes about a pointless subject before getting off the phone. I throw my phone onto the floor roughly, not caring if I cracked the screen or not. I let out a frustrated moan into the couch pillow, gripping the pillow with my fingers. Why can't anything go right? Niall doesn't deserve any of this, he deserves happiness.

I stand from the couch and make my way to my cabinet that holds all the alcohol. Reaching towards the back I draw out a half full bottle of scotch. Popping off the cap I lean against my counter taking a swig. My throat burns terribly but every sip seems to make me more numb to the feeling.

"Make me forget everything please." I bite my lip to keep from sobbing. I chug the rest of the substance to the very last drop.

"Louis?" My name sounds from the living room but I'm too busy screaming in my mind, to reply. My vision blurs by the tears in my eyes, the anger builds up in me. The voice in my head kept echoing awful things to me, shaking my head frantically a couple of tears fall down my face down onto the linoleum.

"This is my fault, everything is my fault." I sob out and angrily throw the empty glass bottle onto the floor. Gritting my teeth in rage, the glass falls to the ground instantly shattering into thousands of pieces. The glass rests in a crystal like form all around me. My eyes dart around before I slide down onto the ground. Hugging my knees to my chest I burry my head in my arms, my shoulders shake, my breathing becoming ragged.