Camp C.A.S (Rewritten Camp Pica)

Chapter Thirteen

warning! mentions of transphobia in this chapter!

Sage's POV

Come on, Sage, it was very simple! Just ask Xavier to hang out sometime later, in a total friendly way. Come on man, you got this! Bailey believes in you! The thought of Bailey and the words of encouragement he had said, made my cheeks turn a bit pink. Bailey really was amazing, trusting me to do this and all. He said I was amazing, he said I was capable to do this! Even though I told myself all of this, it was still hard to believe and gain trust in myself. It was halfway through breakfast the next day, and Xavier sat next to me once again. He made small talk with me, and I talked back, but I still hadn't ask him if he wanted to skip class with me. I was just drawing out the inevitable of asking him, if I was being honest. Bailey had even given me a pep talk before I went in for breakfast, majorly hyping me up and everything! However, it just.. really wasn't helping at all, I was still nervous as all hell.

"Sage?" I was shaken from my thoughts as Xavier said my name, becoming quite panicked at the sound of him. "E-Eh?" I quickly asked and Xavier chuckled a bit at my panic, saying I kept zoning out on him. "Oh! Yeah, sorry.. I, um, didn't get much sleep." I lied to him and rubbed the back of my neck, smiling nervously at him. Xavier seemed to stare at me for a moment, which made me even more nervous, as if he caught me in my lie. He finally just smiled and nodded at me, saying that was fine. "Try to get more sleep though, okay?"  Xavier said as he moved his left hand overtop of my other hand, which I had resting on the table. I stared at his hand on mine, and my cheeks just turned bright red. Bailey did the same yesterday, it's so intimate! I really wish Xavier would stop being flirty with me, especially because I feel as if he's just doing it to get me on good terms with him and Mr. Doren. I get crushes easily, so I'd wish he'd stop.

With his hand on mine and him staring at my face, it was now or never, I suppose. I took a deep breath and looked Xavier in the eyes, his brown eyes staring into mine. "A-Are you free later? I'd love to hang out with you.." I stammered out and Xavier raised his eyes a bit, asking when exactly 'later' would be. "Oh! Um, whenever you're available, just me and you.. Maybe we could go somewhere private." I said quietly and I saw a slight smirk grow on Xavier's lips, panic filling me up once again. A smirk is basically a suggestive smile! Is he thinking dirty!? He knows I'm asexual, why is he smirking? I'm super asexual, god damn it. Was he thinking dirty, or was I being the lewd one? Oh my god, he DOES know I'm asexual, right? He was there when I said I was asexual, he knows asexual means I'm sex repulsed, right?! Jesus christ, my own thoughts are having a panic attack right now. My mind has said the word asexual at least fifteen times now.

"How about the same time as last time? Right before lunch." He suggested to me when I didn't say another word, and I simply nodded his head, saying that sounded perfect. Great, now I'd be extremely nervous for one whole class. Nothing new, I guess. I was always stressed that my teacher would call out me during lessons, shaming me for who I was. I already have enough self hatred, I don't need anyone else to add onto the self hatred as well. I glanced around the table and saw Bailey give me a slight smile, which I returned to him. After a short while, breakfast was officially over. I stood up from my seat and made small talk with Xavier until we were outside. Xavier waved goodbye to me as he walked off, giving him a small wave back.

We decided to meet at my cabin after our first classes, and wow were my nerves very fucking high. I walked over to the building where my first class was being held and walked inside, glancing around the room. I sat down on a bench and immediately zoned out, thinking about how the hell I would do this. I believed in myself a tiny bit, but it was still a scary thought. What if Xavier catches me recording? Xavier could totally kick my ass if he wanted to, I mean, anyone could but especially Xavier. He seemed quite strong, for his age at least. I could tell he had muscles, which always confused me. Why the hell would high schoolers have such big muscles?! Did he play a sport like football or something? Did he work out every morning? It's a wild concept to me.