Peyton's Point of View
I should never have come here! He can't listen to me for ten minutes without yelling at me.
"I can't believe you!" And it's true, I really have no idea what he's thinking.
Then he does the last thing I'm expecting him to do. He doesn't jump out the window. He doesn't tell me that he's dying. He doesn't even tell me he's actually into men. What he does is even more surprising.
He leans down and kisses me. I'm so shocked that I just stand there for what feels like an eternity.
Seth is kissing me. Seth is really kissing me. Then I try to push him away, but he pulls me closer against him.
He moves his lips away from me, just far enough so that he can speak. He whispers, "Stop being a control freak for five minutes."
Then he kisses me again and I'm smiling and I can feel him smiling against my lips. I wrap my arms around his neck, and he holds me by my waist.
He pulls me and we fall backwards onto his bed, and I relax. I lay on top of him. He's frantically pulling me closer and I'm running my hands along his chest.
I can feel his muscles underneath his shirt and it's not fair to any guy I've ever kissed before. No one should be this beautiful.
I pull away to breathe, leaving the slightest space between us. I don't want to stop touching him. I never want to stop touching him. I run my thumb across his cheek bone.
He smiles, and I can hear him breathing. "You're so beautiful." I can almost believe him. He grabs a strand of my hair that's dangling in his face. "It's gorgeous."
Then he kisses my cheek, my jaw, my neck, my nose.
* * * * *
When I wake up, I wonder if everything that happened last night was a dream. Seth has his arm slung over my stomach, and he's sleeping so peacefully. I smile, it's just like when we were younger. I leave the room without waking him.
I run into Kelly in the kitchen on my way out.
"Good morning," I say, awkwardly.
She raises her eyebrows, "Did you have sex with my brother?"
I start coughing, choking on my own spit. "Oh my god, no. God. No. No."
She nods, "I think I'd probably be okay with it if you did. You're a lot better than his other girlfriends."
"Thanks, Kells."
I get into my car and turn on the bluetooth. Bri answers on the fifth ring.
"Tell me you have a good reason for calling me at eight in the morning."
"I told him."
"Oh my god. What happened?" All the drowsiness is gone from her voice.
"He yelled at me." I pause, "Then he kissed me."
"Holy shit, Peyton. Like he kissed you?"
"Um, yeah basically."
"Like on the cheek? Like a peck on the lips?"
"Like we kind of made out on his bed, for a bit," I try not to sound as embarassed as I am.
"I'm speechless. I am literally beyond speechless. Did anything else happen?"
"No! No, we just kissed," I tell her, blushing.
"Woah. So what now?"
I sigh, "I'm really not sure. He never really said much. I don't even know if he likes me back."
"No one kisses people like that if they don't like them."
"This is Seth Torres."
"Still, it probably meant more."
"Yeah, probably. Still, even if nothing else happens between us I have to break up with Miles. I thought maybe something could happen between us. I just don't feel anything for him like I do for Seth."
"What are you going to tell him?"
"I have no idea, Bri. Why does this have to be so hard?"
* * * * *
"Do you know what time it is?" Miles laughs.
"I knew you'd be awake."
"So, what's up?"
"I think we should break up." My plan was to do it fast, like ripping off a bandaid. Then maybe it wouldn't hurt as much.
He looks really surprised, which hurts. For a long time he doesn't say anything. We just stand there.
Then he sighs, "What changed? I thought we were fine."
"We are fine! Nothing is wrong, particularly. I like you a lot."
"Then is there someone else? Or what?"
I want to run out of there. I want to get in my car, slam the door, and never come back. He looks so hurt and I hate myself for doing this to him.
I feel like Dobby when he'd bang his head into the wall because he felt so bad.
He looks at me for the longest time. I try to say how sorry I am with my eyes.
"It's Seth," he says flatly. "Are you two, like, together?"
"No. God, Miles, I never wanted it to happen this way."
"I think I just want you to go."
"Of course," I say.
Well, that sucked.
