Treat You Better - Grethan

Part 23 - There's Nothing Holding Me Back

Ethan's POV:

I woke up to the sound of the door opening. I looked around, pretty confused when a doctor came into view.

"Oh, sorry to wake you," He said, looking down at his worksheet. "Oops, sorry. This seems to be the wrong room. My apologies," He added, walking back out the door. I tried sitting upright but my back was killing me. Guess I slept wrong. I reached over to massage my neck, my eyes still closed. The slow, even beeping of the monitor being the only noise present in the room. Once my back was a little better, I was able to sit up and look around the room. Grayson still fast asleep. Thank God it was just a dream. I resumed grabbing his hand and went on my phone, still holding onto him as if my life depended on him. I need him to know I'll always be here with him.

About 35 minutes later, I felt a squeeze on my hand and I looked at it, seeing no movement. I assumed it was my mind playing tricks on me and I went back on my phone when I felt a squeeze once again. I turned off my phone and grabbed the same hand with my other hand. I felt it again and then saw his fingers move. I looked up at his face and saw him slowly open his eyes. He's alive!

"Grayson!" I yelled, throwing myself on top of him.

"Ow, ow, ow, my arm," He spoke and I threw myself off of him, feeling horrible.

"Oh my god, I am SO sorry I forgot. I was just excited that you're ok and not dead," I said, smiling and caressing his face with my thumb. He smiled into the touch, before slowly moving his face away, looking at the window.

"Please go away...." He let out, not facing me.

"Grayson, I-" I started, but he interrupted me.

"Look, I know you didn't mean to. And I know you would never hurt me this way. I'm not mad at you. I completely forgive you for doing what you did. I love you way too much for me to be mad at you or hate you. You're the most important person in my life Ethan. You've always been. I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember and you don't know how happy I am to know that you're in love with me too, but..." He trailed off. I grabbed his hand, but he quickly removed it.

"But what?" I asked, scared to know what he was going to say next.

"But I'm scared of you.." He let out, closing his eyes and letting out a whimper. "I thought I couldn't feel anymore horrible, but here I am, wishing for everything to go back to the way it was. And I mean before all of this happened. A year should be fine.

"Gray..." I let out, getting closer to him.

"Ethan, please understand. I'm terrified of what you're capable of doing to me when things go wrong or when you lose your temper. Today, for instance. I never thought you'd be capable of physically hurting me, yet you sent me flying down the stairs. What would happen if we're dating and we have a disagreement? Are you gonna run me over? What would happen if we get married and we have a fight or an argument? Are you gonna stab me? I shouldn't be asking myself these questions Ethan," he told me, looking over at me with a sad expression.

"Grayson, I would never run you over or stab you for any reasons. You know I love you with all my heart and that my main goal in life is to protect you and not let anybody put you in harm's way. But I-"

"Ethan, you've told me this before. Truth is that we both don't know what could happen if we-"

"No Grayson. I am not giving up on you. I know what I did was bad and that I should be more careful, but c'mon Gray. We've been living together for 19 years, and how many of those have I actually purposefully hurt you? Whether it was physically or emotionally?" I asked, taking a seat next to Grayson.