Zindagi Gulzar hai - Life is a Flower Garden

27 February - Kashaf

My dear readers, I am the most terrible writer ever, am I not? I am uploading the last chapter a year after the previous one. It seems as if I'm following the speed at which our characters wrote their entries LOL. I had a case of severe writer's block. I just didn't want to continue. But today I'm here to tell you that the last chapter is finally, FINALLY here. I hope a few of you have held on till this day to read the last chapter. Even if you haven't, I still just want to get this off my shoulders once and for all. After this book is finished, I may start an original story of my own and I would love it if some of you read it. So without further ado, let's move onto the finale!

Today is my last day in Pakistan. I will be leaving for America with Zaroon after seven hours and I won't be returning anytime soon. Zaroon is sleeping at the moment because he always needs to rest before a long flight. I am alone right now and for some reason, want to write something about the years I spent in Pakistan. Maybe it's because today I read all the diaries I wrote during that time, and then had them placed in my bank locker along with my other documents. I can't take them with me.

My flight is scheduled for 3 pm, so I still have a lot of time. Before I leave, I want to confess everything.

Four days ago, I went to meet my family in Gujrat because I won't be seeing them again for a long, long time. I met many other relatives there, too. I had always grouched that my mother had never gotten anything for all the troubles she bore. But today when I compare my mother and my aunts, I realize that my thinking was completely wrong. There's nothing that my mother doesn't have now. All four of her daughters got married into good homes and are living happy lives. Both of her sons are successful. Their wives respect and love her. She has no worries. Maybe she doesn't have heaps of money but she has enough to live a peaceful and comfortable life. Isn't this her reward for being a good person?

I used to hate my mother's patience, her thankfulness, and her care in spending money. And today I, who thought that money was the answer to everything, am embarrassed for my actions. It wasn't a revolution, it wasn't an overnight miracle that turned the tables suddenly. Then why are those with money still unhappy? And those who could only ever dream of good clothes and good food, have happiness and peace and everything they dreamt of. How did that happen?

The difference is in actions. The difference is in the way they treated life. The way they treated those below them. In this world, money isn't everything. You can't treat others like trash just because you're richer. Rather, the rich have some responsibility to make the lives of the poor easier.

I used to blame God for everything that happened to me, and I will always regret that. Maybe we all think that He is wrong. We underestimate His power. We only love and thank God when he gives us money and makes us financially powerful. Otherwise we think that He is doing nothing for us. We say Allah u Akbar during every prayer, accept that He is the greatest and most powerful, and as soon as our prayers are finished, we go back to thinking that money has all the power. I always thought that God hates me but I was wrong. God loves everyone, He put me through so much hardships for the exact reason that He tests those He loves most. If God really hated me and wanted to never give me peace and happiness, He wouldn't have given me the will to survive. I passed the CSS and qualified for a good position. How could I have done that without God's help? As soon as the result was announced, I was called to the academy and sent to the best department. Could this have happened without God's will? I didn't have to try too hard to get my sisters married nor did I have to hear any lengthy demands for the dowries. Wasn't God with me then? Then, both my brothers were enrolled in the army without any powerful connections or briberies. Could this, too, have happened if God hadn't wanted it? And at the end, I who was so deeply lost in my inferiority complex that only beauty and money can bring happiness and success, was also proven wrong by the blessings of Allah.