Zindagi Gulzar hai - Life is a Flower Garden

17 March - Zaroon

Kashaf left me yesterday night and I still can't understand my feelings. I didn't know that in these few months, I would become so used to her presence. She went away so easily. As if I never held any importance for her. I only hit her once even when she deserved more. She had said on our wedding night that she would love me but I never felt any love in these four months. She never showed any affections. How could she, when she didn't even love me. She loves someone else. If I knew this before, I would never have married her.

The only thing that attracted me in her was her stain-less character. That she had never been involved in an affair. How could I have known that everything was a lie. She is just like the girls of my society. I have been so worried since last night. Nothing seems good anymore. I feel like destroying everything in front of me. Without her, everything seems incomplete. When I woke up this morning, I had forgotten the events of the night. I waited a while for her to bring me my tea. Then suddenly I remembered everything.

For the first time after the wedding, I took out my clothes from the wardrobe myself and got ready for the office but I felt her presence at every step. I went to work without any breakfast and shouted at my subordinates without any reason. I can't understand the reason for my anger. Even after coming home I didn't feel calm. Its been only one day without her and I'm already going crazy, I have to spend my whole life. I find it hard to control myself without her and look at her, she threw everything at my face and left me so easily. If she had loved me, would she have left all the gifts I had given her? One thing is final, I will never bring her into this home again. I have to get her out of my mind. My decision will upset many people. Sir Abrar will probably never forgive me. But if I don't give her a divorce now, I don't think I ever will be able to.