Zindagi Gulzar hai - Life is a Flower Garden

02 January - Zaroon

I got my first promotion today! I am now the Deputy Chief of Mission and will be sent to Cairo where I will be spending the next few days. I enjoyed my posting in Mauritius because it is a really beautiful country. Just like a perfect holiday spot. I was sent as third secretary and before the end of my tenure I got promoted and am ready to go to Cairo. Everyone wants a chance to see the amazing Egypt. Same with me, even though I have been to Egypt a few times before. Still, spending a long time there seems a bit strange.

My life feels like a roundabout to me. One country, then to another country, then back to Pakistan and then another country, the cycle goes on. Sometimes I start getting bored, even though I joined the foreign service for this very reason. Now, I feel lonely. From home to office, back to home, and then at home I don't know what to do. I feel bored despite all the moving around. Maybe the time has come for me to get married. Maybe family will be the cure to my loneliness but I return to the main problem, where do I find the right woman? The girls I meet can't be married because they aren't ideal and the one who is ideal hasn't been found yet. 

I often try to meet, not only the girls from the Pakistani communities, but from other countries as well. Still, no luck. The girls don't tick all the boxes. The have the same lack of character that displeases me. However, I have to marry soon because I have turned 30 and upset my parents quite much. They think that I should be the father of at least two children now.

I laugh when I think what I'll do when the matter of the marriage of my own son will present itself. Will I be as demanding as my parents? And will he be writing the same things in his diary that I am? All my friends have married and when I went to Osama's wedding last month, I teased him about Kashaf. The odd thing is, whenever I meet Osama, my mind wanders to Kashaf. She's probably married by now. I don't know what the man is like, but who ever he is, he's very lucky to have a wife like her. In these two years, I have gone to Pakistan four times, and whenever I went, I tried my hardest to find any news about her but I found nothing. I have no hope of meeting her again but I pray that wherever she is, she's happy.