"Who the fuck are you?" said the boy.
"Who the fuck are you?" countered Faith.
"I asked first."
"And I asked second."
There was a tense silence. And thenㅡ "James! There's a girl in your living room!"
***
When Faith Potter gets expelled from Beauxbat...
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Taking a closer look at the map, Faith noticed what was so fascinating about it. Lines had settled and stayed in place ㅡ these mapped out the entire expanse of the castle, not excluding every inch of the grounds and even a few secret passageways. But there were also some ink blots in the shape of footsteps crawling along the parchment, with names following them along. Faith's eyes widened in awe as she took it all in ㅡ a few classrooms were missing, denoted by the blank spaces, but it was still brilliant all the same.
"This is bloody brilliant!" she grinned, watching as they swelled with pride.
"Isn't it?" quipped Sirius with a smirk, "You're the only other person who knows about this."
Her face crumpled as she clutched her chest, "Aw, really? Why isn't my name on there ㅡ I want a special nickname, too," she joked, pointing at the banner above the map with their names blotted in brown ink.
As they responded, the door opened and a boy had walked in, walking around as if he were familiar with the room. The boys paid no attention to him. This boy was their unfortunate roommate ㅡ Kingsley Shacklebolt.
"We could add you on if you like," came Remus' voice, "you could be..."
"Dick Holder!" Faith glared at James.
"Or Egg," suggested Remus cheekily.
She scowled. "I will not hesitate to add another scar on that body of yours Lupin."
"Rough sex for the win!" exclaimed James suddenly, dramatically throwing his arms in the air as he cheered.
Kingsley walked straight out, slamming the door behind him.
"Damn, I feel sorry for the guy," said Faith after a slight pause, staring with a grimace at the door.
"Pfft, he's just moody because we don't invite him to our orgys," scoffed Sirius.
"Oh my god," she breathed, screwing her eyes shut.
"It's kinda hard though you know?" began James, sounding completely serious. "Four guys it's even, we got two tops and two bottoms, we frequently switch ㅡ but it'd be weird with a fifth; it'd mess up the formulaㅡ"
Faith screeched, backing herself into a corner away from them, "HOLY SHIT, I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW THIS, GUYS."
"It's a joke, Faith," whispered Remus, leaning back against the bedpost with a small grin on his lips.
"Not in my mind it isn't. Merlin, the mental images ㅡ get them out." Rocking back and forth, Faith tried to imagine anything but the very vivid imagery in her mind of the Four Idiots getting it on in their dorm room.
"Hey," James' voice snapped Faith out of her mental nightmare, "what are Lily and Marlene up to? Why are they on top of each other...?"
"Nah, I've seen Lily give literal heart eyes towards James," retorted Faith.
