Ghost In The Mirror

The Secret

I woke up Saturday morning and found my mom already drunk. It was noon and she was out of control. I couldn't believe it. Since my dad had left, my mom had spun out of control. Her drinking was excessive and her boyfriends were disgusting. Why did my dad have to leave? Why couldn't my mom control herself? I couldn't help it, I was so ashamed that she was my mom. I ran to my room and grabbed my trusty blade and sliced deep cuts in my wrists. Once again, I felt instant relief. I didn't care anymore. I was finished with trying to tell her how I felt about what she's doing. If she wants to get drunk and go out with endless amounts of men, why should I try and stop her? She doesn't listen anyway.

By 4:00PM I figured I should start getting ready for the concert. I found my favourite pair of tattered, black jeans and a black tank top that laced up the sides. For shoes, I decided to wear a new pair of creepers I had just bought the day before. I thought I looked alright, all I needed was to add my makeup and do my hair.

I sweeper the makeup brush across my eyelids, creating an intoxicatingly pigmented, purple smokey eye. I added thick black eyeliner and a bunch of mascara. To match my eyes, I wore a matching purple lipstick. Something wasn't right, so I took out all my peircings and put in studs that were black instead of silver. My black hair was flat and ragged, as it ran down my back. I had just enough time to straighten it before quickly having some dinner and getting into my car to pick up Meg.

I drove down the street and made a right turn. I was about three blocks from Meg's house when my phone rang. It was Meg.

"Hey Ray," she said softly. I could tell this wasn't good news.

"Hi, is everything alright?" I replied, trying to keep calm.

"No, Ray. Everything is not alright. My parents are going away for dinner tonight and I have to stay and watch them. I'm so sorry," she weeped.

"Oh, okay. Well, it's fine. We can catch their next show..." I could feel my voice trail off, so I quickly said goodbye and ended the call.

I pulled over and began to cry. I wasn't sure I could go alone, but I wasn't to learn about Chris so badly that I knew I needed to go. I put the car in drive and began to make my way down the street, past Meg's house and onto the highway. It would be about an hour before I got downtown to the Sonic Ballroom so I turned up my music and continued to drive.

Once I arrived and quickly made my way into the venue and found a seat near the back. I didn't want Chris to know that I was there. At 8:30 the MC introduced Motionless In White and all hell broke loose. Kids were everywhere and the music was loud and heavy. I stayed in my seat and didn't move. My eyes were focused on Chris. He was an incredible performer. I took the time and learned a few of their songs before arriving at the venue so I knew their music. While jumping up and down, Chris began to scream the lyrics to 'Creatures.' I was completely shocked by his stage presence. I had seen YouTube videos, but it's different to experience the music being played live. It was empowering and the whole crowd was wild.

After about the fourth song, Chris finally saw me. Our eyes met and he quickly excused himself mid-song and ran off stage. What had I done?