Chapter One

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2018

Steve and Bucky didn't stay at the party for too long after their kiss. They said their goodbyes and made their way home, where they collapsed onto Steve's bed. They lay there, with just their hands holding, over the covers and staring up at the ceiling.

"I can't believe this is real," Steve admits.

"Me neither," Bucky whispers.

Steve looks to Bucky, a boy-ish grin on his face. "What all do you remember from our relationship before? I want to fill you in, now. Make sure you remember everything."

Bucky smiles back. "I know our anniversary is June 24th and that we still counted that day as the start of our relationship and completely ignored the year we broke up when counting dates."

"It wasn't a total year. We broke it off after our anniversary and got back together before it," Steve adds.

"And we were together for almost nine years before I fell," Bucky says softly, watching Steve carefully. The other man's face twitches a little at the mention, but he's good at hiding his emotions. At least from most people. Bucky sees how sensitive he is about the whole situation and decides to bring it up later. "And I know that I proposed to you and Gabe married us."

Steve's grin returns to his face as he sits up. He takes off his tie and unbuttons his shirt, showing his bare chest with their dog tags (with rubber encasings to keep them from making noise) and rings nestled against the skin. He takes it off and slips the rings off and turns to Bucky. "I've been wearing these since I found them."

Bucky's in awe. He remembers wearing them when he fell but he doesn't know how he lost them. He sits up and reaches for the ring with delicate hands. "I... I can't believe you still have them."

"Oh, I have more than just the rings," Steve mentions with an embarrassed laugh. "I, um, haven't exactly been honest about my time after I got... thawed out?"

"What do you mean?"

Steve slides the ring on and plays with the band subconsciously. "When... When you fell, Buck I was a wreck. I searched for days and I cried near constantly. Just the thought of you would bring tears to my eyes." He swallows the lump in his throat and looks up at Bucky with a watery smile. "I kept your tags on me at all times, with our rings in between them. I wore them when I told your folks about your passing. I held them when I went to your funeral. I had them wrapped around my ankle when I crashed the Valkyrie. They became my anchor. They keep me grounded," he explains. Steve shifts so that his left ankle is nearly in Bucky's lap and reaches for the lamp. "So much that I wanted them on me permanently after I found out you were still alive. Figured one day I'd get to give these tags back to you, so I needed to make a pair of my own." He rolls up his pants leg and shows off his tattoo in all its glory.

Bucky gasps and reaches out to touch it. "Its... God, it's beautiful. And such a you thing to do."

Steve laughs and pulls Bucky in for a quick kiss. "I missed that so fucking much."

"Me too, doll." Bucky leans back with a troubled look. "You told my parents I died?"

"I did," Steve says softly. "After we searched and couldn't find you, Phillips and Stark brought me home so I could break the news to your family. Figured it would be best to come from me than some letter."

Bucky kissed Steve again, with a little more passion than their previous kiss. "Thank you, Stevie."

Steve caressed Bucky's cheek in his hand. "Anything for you, Buck."

"So what else have you been keeping from me?" Bucky asks, pulling away again with a dopey grin.

Steve thinks, "I get really anxious sometimes. Sometimes I get these panic attacks in the middle of the day, but now it's usually only when I'm cold or submerged in water. Then there's the usual nightmares-"

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