The Fallen Prince - Loki fanfiction ✓

12. The king

Loki only dozed in shortly before dawn. He had watched the sleeping form of Mirilya the whole night, loathing himself deeply for what he had done to her.

After refilling the tub twice with hot water, she had allowed him to wrap her in a big soft towel and rub her dry. Dressed in one of his shirts she had crawled into his bed again, with Loki next to her on top of the blankets. He had kept a small distance between them and for a while they just looked at each other. When she had asked again what happened that day, he had told her about Jotunheim and the Frost Giants touch. 

"What does it mean?" was her question, only her nose and eyes visible above the blanket, encircled by her brown curls.

"I don't know," Loki had answered and they were both silent after that.

As she laced her fingers through his, part of Loki felt joy, because it looked like the woman he loved was able to forgive him for what he had done to her. But he couldn't forgive himself and he was still awake long after she fell asleep.

When Loki woke up after sleeping for only an hour or two, Mirilya was still asleep. Careful not to wake her, he silently got out of bed and went to the kitchens to get them breakfast. He put it on the table by the window and sat down, but he wasn't able to get anything down his throat. He needed answers. He couldn't let what happened on Jotunheim get between him and Mirilya. He couldn't let anger cloud his mind again when he was near her.

Inside Odin's vault he found the Casket of Ancient Winters, giving off the same eerie blue light as always. Loki walked up to the Casket, feeling drawn to it despite his revulsion. Slowly he put his hands on the sides of the Casket, cold dread filling his whole being when he saw his hands turn blue again. He could feel the change creep up over his whole body and every hair stood up.

Without looking he knew Odin was standing behind him. "Am I cursed?" Loki asked.

"No."

Loki turned to the Allfather, looking like a Jotun in Asgardian garments. "Then what am I?"

"You are my son," the Allfather said, seemingly unfazed by his son's new look.

"What more am I?" Loki asked, anger building up inside him. He took a step closer to Odin. "The Casket wasn't the only thing you took from Jotunheim that day, was it?" He could feel his skin return to normal as he walked further away from the Casket and came closer to Odin.

"No," Odin said slowly. "In the aftermath of the battle I found a baby in the temple. Small, for a Giant's offspring. Laufey's son."

Loki sharply sucked in his breath. "Laufey's son." He was the son of the Frost Giant's king. That barren wasteland was his homeland.
"Why?!" He directed his anger at Odin, the Allfather, but not his father. "You were knee deep in Jotun blood. Why would you take me?"

"You were just an innocent child."

Loki shook his head. "You took me for a purpose. What was it?"
"Tell me!!" he screamed when the Allfather didn't answer right away. 

But the answer the Allfather gave only angered Loki more. Odin had hoped that Laufey's son could help to turn the unstable truce into peace.

"So I am no more than a stolen relic, locked up until you have use of me," Loki seethed. "You raised me as your son, raised me as a prince. Yet you could never have a Frost Giant sitting on the throne of Asgard!"
Loki stalked forward, making Odin step back a little. However, that little victory did nothing for the pain he felt inside. "I am the monster parents tell their kids about at night..." Loki fell silent at the thought. He was a monster.

Loki tried to compose himself. He couldn't fall apart in front of Odin, not now, not ever. "But I guess you found some other use for me now," he said in a sly voice, slowly advancing on Odin. "What would King Vonhir say if he found out you want his daughter to marry a Jotun?"