Intoxicated - A Lashton (5sos) Fan Fiction

Chapter 17 - Without You I'm A Lost Boy

idk why this chapter went behind my two other notes :( if you know how to fix it, please tell me

thank you all so much for 100K :) now, it's over 115k, but oh well. this chapter was so hard to write, it's honestly pretty shitty.

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Have you ever suddenly just came to a realization? Where you realize, you've missed something this whole time, you've been oblivious to the truth. Well, that was currently happening to Ashton.

How could I have not seen it before? Even after Luke confessed his feelings, why did it take me so long to realize?

Without a word, Ashton slammed down his remote, and stormed off to his room. He didn't listen to the other boys calls for him, he didn't want to talk to anyone right now.

As soon as he got to his room, he lated down on his bed, burying his face in his pillow. He felt so overwhelmed right now; did this mean that him and Luke would be a couple? Would they kiss each other, have sex, and get married? Would they tell all their fans, or be forced to keep it a secret?

All that Ashton knew, is that he certainly wasn't ready to do those things with Luke. Even the thought of them seemed weird. He had no problem kissing Luke, but having sex was out of the picture. That would just be so weird. Especially considering Luke was his bestfriend, bandmate who happened to be a boy.

He felt a pang of guilt. Had Luke ever felt this way? No doubt about it. It had been months since Luke told Ashton about his crush, but he only imagined Luke to feel worse, considering Ashton turned him down.

Did I make Luke sad when I turned him down? Am I the reason he's depressed? Am I the reason he's hurting himself?

Ashton gasped. He didn't want such a precious boy, to be so hurt over someone like himself. Luke was truly an amazing person, who deserved the world. He did not deserve to be so hung up over another person.

He loved Luke so much. Even if most of that love was friendly, Luke meant so much to Ashton. But now, he certainly thought their relationship would be a bad idea. I don't deserve someone who I've hurt. He deserves so much better.

But then again, Ashton didn't know what to do. He didn't think he deserved Luke, but he also knew that Luke wanted to be with Ashton. And he couldn't deny, that part of him wanted to be with Luke too.

What am I going to do?

Ashton knew he had a decision. He had no clue on what was right; if he got with Luke, would they ever work out? If he never got romantically involved with Luke, than he wouldn't have to take the risk. But what if I take the risk, and everything works out? He was beyond frustrated. Why did it have to be so hard?

Maybe I can sleep on it?

That would be a good idea, if it wasn't only 8:45 pm.

He was weighing out the pros and cons in his head, when he heard a little knock on his door. "Ashton?"

Ashton sighed. As much as he didn't want to see anyone right now, he didn't want to be mean to his bandmates. "Come in."

The door opened, and Luke stepped in, closing it behind him. "Are you okay? You just stormed off."

"I'm just a little stressed out, Lukey. I'm alright, though."

"Oh, okay." Luke looked from Ashton to the floor. "If it makes you feel any better, when you left, I picked up your remote, and I made you win the race. Who knew Princess Peach had it in her?"