Intoxicated - A Lashton (5sos) Fan Fiction

Chapter 6 - A World Alone

i know it's been forever... it's been such a long time since i've updated. i'm not really sorry, though. i shouldn't be sorry for having school work, having drama, etc.

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Luke was never one to open up to people. He never really opened up to anyone. What's the point in sharing your personal feelings? He always thought. After Calum blew him over, he vowed to never open up to anyone. If the person you're closest to, didn't want to support you anymore, than who would?

No one.

Luke was alone. Not pshyically. Phdyically, he had a lot of friends who would be willing to support him. But mentally, he was on his own.

Luke was snapped out of his thoughts, when Ashton spoke.

"We can go home, and watch Mean Girls! I'll make some popcorn, too! That's about all I can cook!" Ashton said cheerily, beside him. Luke wasn't that interested, he'd seen Mean Girls with Calum three nights before (it was one of the only movies they owned on DVD), and food never appealed to him. I guess that's a side effect of being depressed. It wipes away your world, including your appetite.

But Luke still smiled. The thought of doing something with Ashton was a little better. It was also a problem, though. It made Luke sad. Knowing that Ashton would never like him, just made time with Ashton turn into self loathing. Why amen't I good enough for Ashton? He wants a pretty girl. Not me.

"Luke..." Ashton spoke again. "When we get home, I want to talk to you. Like, actually talk. I want to know what you're thinking; what goes on in your brain. Because lately, I've been concerned. You never join in with me and the lads, anymore. The only time you seem to smile, is on stage, and sometimes when you're with Calum. Does this mean-" Ashton stopped himself mid sentence.

"Does this mean what?" Luke spoke nervously. He was scared for what Ashton was about to say.

"Does this mean that you- um, like C-calum?" He finally stuttered out.

Of Luke had a drink, he would of spit it out. "M-me, and Calum?" The younger boy couldn't help but blush, aswell.

"Well, yeah. You seem to only talk to him... You never want to talk to me anymore! Do you remember when we'd get up at 5 whilst on tour and have coffee together, just the two of us? I miss that... What happened to our friendship?"

Luke didn't know what to say, he was truly speechless. He was surprised that Ashton actually mildly wanted something to do with him. All this time, Luke had been thinking that Ashton despised him. Maybe he was just being nice...

"Oh... I get it." Ashton's face turned from to sympathy to disappointment in less than half a second. "I get it." he repeated again.

"G-get what?"

"I just get it, okay?! I get that you want to spend more time with Calum. I get that you like him more than me. I get that you probably think putting me in this band was a mistake!"

When they were two blocks away from their house, Ashton rounded the other corner, and Luke didn't follow. He doesn't love you.

But what Ashton said, really hit him hard. Did he actually miss time with Luke? Did he actually think that he wasn't wanted in the band? And did he actually think that he liked Calum?

Great, another band member on the loose.

~

Not much had changed, since then. Ashton and Luke talked on occasion, and it was nothing more or less of forced. They hadn't made up, and it secretly killed both of them. In that time, Luke also told Calum that he didn't like Ashton anymore, and that it was just a silly little crush. Which was a complete lie. Calum was still mad at Luke, but he couldn't figure out why.

It was approximately two weeks later, when Ashton and Luke got into a fairly heated argument. It started off as something silly (like most arguments in their house), but it quickly turned into hurtful words.

"You're such a bitch, Luke!"

"I'm a boy, I can be a bitch, you dick!"

"You fucking-" Ashton didn't know how to continue. he lowered his voice a whole octave. "I've tried to help you. Do you know how many fucking times I've asked you what's wrong? You block me out every single time! I want to help you! I want us to be proper friends! We barely speak, Luke! Do you really want that?! Well, apparently you do. I'm done." He took a step closer to Luke, and Luke winced.

He didn't hit hit him, though. He didn't turn around and leave, either. He just stared into Luke's eyes.

Luke tried to hold back his tears. I'm so fucking stupid, he thought. I'm losing another friend, because I don't want to admit to being fucking mental.

There were a few minutes of silence. Why do I have to be so fucking awkward? I can't ever think of anything to say.

"Emo freak." Ashton spat out at last. He turned on his heel, and left in a matter of seconds.

Luke figured that it probably shouldn't hurt him, as much as it did. Ashton's 'diss' was one that would most likely be used by a twelve year old.

Luke didn't 'look' or 'dress' emo, so that means Ashton must know.

But how could he?

To make matters worse, that was also the night that Calum decided to bash Luke. As soon as Calum had heard the fight, he figured that Luke needed to feel even worse. So he said various things about Luke, some true and some not.

"Michael! Michael!" Luke had his head on the kitchen table, while Calum was sitting with Michael in the living room. Michael peeked up from his phone. "Yeah, Cal?"

Luke silently pleaded that Calum was just going to say something stupid like usual. But he had a feeling, that nothing was going to go right for him this night.

"Luke's a fag."

"Luke's a what?"

Luke didn't even bother to lift his head up. What's the use? They all hate me already. The only reasons I'm still here, have turned on me.

"A fag." Calum continued. "F A G. He likes boys."

"Really? Luke, is he kidding or what?"

But Luke didn't look up, once again. He tried so hard to hold back his tears, it would just make matters worse. He didn't need to be an emo fag cry baby, he was already just an emo fag.

"Yes. You don't even know how many times he's came to me, complaining about girls. About girls being so complicated, and how boys are better. Like, why would you prefer dick over boobs? Disgusting."

Michael didn't say anything back, but made it clear that he was still listening.

"Also, he has this not-so-cute little crush on-"

Before Calum could finish, Luke stormed over to him, and punched him in the jaw with all his might. He'd had enough. Enough of everything. Enough of Calum, enough of Ashton, enough of the fighting.

He was completely done.

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shit excuse for a chapter.

they're not dicks irl.

hope you enjoyed. x