1001 Ways To Annoy People

(66) Ways To Annoy Your School Roommate (Pt. 2)

I honestly cant believe I got that whole title on there.

1. Put headphones on your roommate while s/he is sleeping, and subliminally teach him/her to speak Spanish, play the trombone, and memorize all the major imports and exports of each African nation. 

2. Dress like a military officer. Insist that your roommate salute you upon sight. If s/he refuses, insist that s/he do 100 push-ups. Keep saying things like, "Your momma isn't here to take care of you any more." 

3. Keep a collection of teeth in a jar. Act excited whenever you add to it, and say things like, "In a little while I'll have enough for that sailboat." 

4. Get a pet rabbit. At a designated time every day, take the rabbit into the bathroom and engage in loud shouting matches. If your roommate inquires, refuse to discuss the situation. 

5. Spread toothpicks all over the floor. Stare at them, acting like you're trying to read something. Tell your roommate it's a message from God, but you're not sure whether it's a warning about a loved one in danger or a recipe for really great chili. 

6. Whenever your roommate has company, walk over into the middle of the room and sit down cross-legged without saying a word. Be oblivious to their presence. Pull a long piece of string out of your pocket, leaving one end still in your pocket. Take the other end and place it in your mouth. Make loud chewing noises as you chew on the string. If anybody says anything give them a questioning look, grunt, and continue to chew while staring, unfocused, straight ahead. 

7. Every now and then start twitching violently and scream "Snakes, snakes!" 

8. Carry a pair of walkie-talkies with you at all times. Insist that s/he use one when ever s/he wants to talk to you. 

9. Play hide and seek with yourself. If your roommate asks what you're doing behind the couch, under the table, etc., look at them exasperatedly, come out of hiding and tell him/her that s/he gave away your hiding place. Refuse to talk to him/her for several hours. 

10. Tie bedsheets together into a rope. Use it to get out of the dorm every morning. 

11. Talk to your roommate but don't let any sound come out. Get mad at him/her for not listening to you. 

12. Ask your roommate if Bob, your invisible friend, can stay the night. If s/he agrees, ask your roommate if s/he can turn down the music. Explain that Bob has a headache. 

13. Constantly slip and fall on your carpet. 

14. Post a sign in your bathroom that reads: "If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown flush it down." Check every time to make sure s/he follows it. 

15. Invite your roommate to sleep over. 

16. Let your alarm clock go off and refuse to turn it off. If your roommate comments, pretend not to hear anything. 

17. Leave little notes in the shower for him/her. 

18.  When your roommate has friends over, get under your covers and stare at them through a little hole in the covers. Use a telescope. 

19. When you leave the room, put on a screensaver that says, "I'm watching you." 

20. Make a care package for your roommate. Leave the room and ride back and forth outside your window saying, "Speedy Delivery!" until s/he comes out. 

21. Sleep with a banana (or lemon) and refuse to throw it out even after it rots. 

22. Move your bed around the room once a day, and leave it in a new position every night.