WE GOT 5000 READS OMG. I wanted to enter 1001 Ways into the Wattys in October or whenever so this is awesome. I love you all my Peachiez :D
1. Constantly bring up your genetics and how much better they are then there's.
2. Call them Muggles because they aren't full-blood related to you. (Harry Potter reference)
3. Laugh dementedly whenever they pass you and whisper, 'Soon..".
4. Every time they say something say, "I DONT HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOU! YOUR NOT MY MOM/DAD!"
5. Every time you see them accuse them of being a Spartian.
6. Lick their chin.
7. Quiz them on Aquaponics and spray them with water if they get a question wrong.
8. If they have a pet-peeve... (Example: CAT HATER) Become a hard core cat worshiper and make a cat your god and so on.
9. Whenever you are mad at them- ignore them so hard, they start to doubt their own existence.
10. Make everything a million times more dramatic than it really was. (Take shower- scream 'Help me Im drowning'. Get paper cut- Scream like you were being chased by a chainsaw wielding man.)
11. Force them to help you make 'Lost Cloud' signs with you to hang around the neighborhood.
12. (If you have a step-dad and a girl) Scream from the bathroom, 'WERE OUT OF TAMPONS!"
13. (If you have a step-mom and your a boy) Every time you pee or go to the bathroom, leave an onion ring in the toilet bowl then leave a sign saying, 'Mom. Don't touch the onion ring. I need a target.'
14. Pretend to be Batman.
15. Duct tape their belongings to ceilings. (Bonus points if its on one of those super tall ceilings and they have to get a ladder to get the stuff down.)
16. If they don't make a new years resolution, make one for them and correct them on every flaw they make by spraying them with a random purple liquid you find in the back of your freezer labed 'DO NOT DRINK.' :D
17. When they try to motivate you to continue a sport or hobby, yell, "Yeah well look how far motivation had gotten you!"
18. (Step-mom) Order pizza under her maiden name.
19. Pretend to be giving birth on their lap. (Bonus points if you are a man child.)
20. Befriend a pen and discuss your world domination plan to it.
21. When at school and they are at work, start crying and get the office to call them to pick you up. Oviusly it would be hard to get off work that easily, so when they come to get you... say 'Never mind. Just hic ups."
22. When their mom is over make a bunch of 'Yo Moma' jokes. If you don't want to be too offensive you can just repeat what they say and add 'Your mom' to the beginning of the sentence.
"Can you get the kechup-"
"YOUR MOMS A KECHUP."
"What did that sign say-"
"YOUR MOMS A TURNPIKE IN ZERO POINT FIVE MILES."
23. Whenever you see a bag of flower or sugar... and they turn around... start snorting loudly. (If you don't understand this, I don't know how to explain this to you without getting arested.)
24. In public or in a serious situation shout, "NO MOM I WONT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!"
25. When they leave the room you were in, cling on to their legs so they cant move fast and blame it on 'Separation Anxeity'.
26. When in a store yell loudly, "No mom you cant put those in your purse,".
27. If your in a retail shop or someplace with stange things, constantly bug them with qeustions like, "Mom can we get Booze Smuggling Tampons? Or maybe a mastache brush? NO. We need Insta Hair Leggings."
28. Claim that wearing clothing is against your religion.
29. Curl up in a little ball like a kitten in their chest and purr. (Bonus points if your a teenager.)
30. Demand to have your own area code.
31. Do crazy drinking methods (with water) that people tell you to do when you have hiccups when they have company over and say 'Its the newest drinking game'. (Drink a glass of water upside down?)
32. Build yourself a fort out of blankets then refuse to come out due to zombie weather predictions.
33. Give your phone number and address to people that look nice.
YOU ARE READING
1001 Ways To Annoy People
Teen FictionOne day I thought, 'Wow I'm just really annoying... I should write a book on it!' That's how it happened. Satisfied?
