1. Give everyone hug-cards in exchange for coupons.
2. Demand new food because it was tainted by open air.
3. Pretend to be a cop to get discounts off everything.
4. Ask to try a sample of everything they offer, then leave without buying anything.
5. Bring enough coupons to cover the price of the food, but so they are also have to pay you.
6. Pester them until they give you a decent amount of napkins.
7. Start a dramatic sob story about how your little brother was hit by a monster truck while he was reading innocently on he porch, then he survived but is dying, and his one wish was to get a free lunch from that shop.
8. Spit into your own food then ask for a refund.
9. Start a strip club right outside their shop.
10. Speak with a hardly legible and unheard of accent and scream everything you say if they ask you to repeat yourself.
11. Change your mind on what you want to eat every few seconds so they have to make you another order.
12. Stomp angrily on little bugs outside of the shop and yell insults at them before stomping on their guts.
13. Start chanting death poems at customers while rubbing cooking oil all over your hair.
14. Pretend to have been stabbed, and your gushing blood, so you squirt ketchup on random customers and screaming "FOR SPARTA!"
15. Pretend to be the shops mascot by dressing up as a dancing lobster-cross dressed- as a waffle and doing the Harlem Shake.
16. Find bottles of mustard and stroke one slowly and whisper, "Liquid Gold..."
17. Pretend to be a Shepard and herd people away from the shop.
18. Aggressively dance towards people.
19. Throw Skittles at people screaming "TASTE THE RAINBOW" then apologize, claiming you were only trying to advertise Skittles.
20. Take a mini exercise ball and stuff it up your shirt then yell at the manager saying, "Look what your food did to me!"
21. While eating, start doing spaztic body motions (And drooling a little bit) repeatedly shouting, "Its... SO TASTEY!"
22. Buy a bunch of cheap food, then outside the shop, give it to people if they do something for you. (Exa- Give them a small fry if they take a #StrangerDangerSelfie with you, or give them a hamburger to them if they bow down in front of you chanting "All hail, Sithis!") (Sithis is like the satanic God of Skyrim so I wouldn't really ask people to bow down to another form of Satan for a hamburger, but I mean whatever floats your boat.)
23. While in the middle of a order, just randomly become a Mime and finish your order with hand gestures.
24. Dress up as Slender Man and wiggle around while hitting people with your tentacles saying, "Oops sorry," every two seconds, due to you whipping people with them.
25. Put up signs around town with things that say 'Taco's save llamas. Go to John's Taco Bar for more details.'
26. If the place your buying the food at is really minor (Like Taco Bell, Dairy Queen, places like that) ask the manager if you can shadow the workers there because that's your dream job.
27. Lay on the tables while rubbing a mixture of Nutella and ketchup on yourself and singing 'Talk Dirty' to much older people.
28. Have a school pep rally in the restaurant bathroom.
29. Take peoples phones when they aren't looking, go into the bathroom and take about 8,000,000 screw up selfies then return it to the original owner without them noticing.
30. Start up a Gay-Marriage petition outside :D
(^^ This is something I just feel really strongly about. If you disagree please leave. Homo Haters are not wanted here C:
YOU ARE READING
1001 Ways To Annoy People
Teen FictionOne day I thought, 'Wow I'm just really annoying... I should write a book on it!' That's how it happened. Satisfied?
