The Feels (Feat. Handsome Stranger)

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It was the same as the first time I dreamt of Cassius. The same soft lighting, same surroundings. To me, it looked how I imagined heaven, kind of. Made of rose gold clouds and blue skies. I blinked, but Cassius was no where to be seen. I frowned.

"Cassius?" His name bubbled weakly from my lips as I stood up. Then I fell over and rolled to look up at my attacker. "Cassius!" I cried joyously and reached up for him. He engulfed my body with his and pressed a soft kiss to my neck. I shivered in delight and played with his blond hair.

"Just tell me where you are Alabaster, please," he whispered in my ear and held me tight. "I can't take being away from you anymore."

"B-but, I can't let you find me. I can't." I whimpered and buried my face in his warm neck. My fingers twisted in his hair, holding him close to me.

"That doesn't matter, I'm going to find you whatever you do," he growled and nipped at my ear, "but if you tell me, I promise I'll be nice." His hand slithered up my shirt and rubbed over my nipples.

"Wai-wait, I have-have a question." I gasped and dug my fingers into his arms. He paused and sat up on his elbows, looking down at me intensely. I hadn't expected him to be so compliant. I blinked rapidly and tried to remember the questions but all I could think of was him. "I-uh, what-what's my-" I hummed and tried to remember, looking away from him. "What's my biggest kink?"

Fuck.

I blushed and turned my head to the side.

Angry sex. Angry sex. Angry sex.

"Angry sex." Cassius said slowly and brushed the hair out of my face. My heart plummeted into my stomach.

"No. That was too easy, you probably already knew that." I laughed nervously and squirmed beneath him. "Uh, what," my breath caught, "what is my greatest fear?" I asked timidly and looked up at him. Cassius leaned down and brushed his lips against my cheek.

"You're not a whore, Alabaster, and I would never use you for your body." He murmured and slipped my shirt off, I was completely still. It felt as though all the air in my lungs had been knocked out of me.

It was a dream.

This was all a dream.

"Ca-Cassius," I whimpered in disbelief, "you're not real," I sobbed and clung to him. "It's not you."

"What are you talking about, of course it's me." Cassius whispered and kissed away my falling tears.

"No. No it's not, Marie-Marie told me." I cried and shook my head.

"Shh, don't cry, I hate it when you cry." He murmured and pulled me into a sitting position.

"I guess there's no point now, since you're just in my imagination." I laughed bitterly as he rocked me back and forth. "I still fucking work at that stupid club. I never fucking left, you should've looked there first." Then I remembered Zisael telling me the same thing. "Zisael did."

"Zisael knows where you are?" Cassius whispered and went still.

"Of course he does Cassius, we fucked." I snarled and ripped myself away from him, stumbling and falling in a heap a few feet away. I curled into a ball and sobbed harshly.

"Alabaster, what have you done?"

My face was stuck to the carpet, wet with tears. I sat up and gasped, it hurt to breathe, to think. My chest ached with heart break. I thought it was really him. But it was a dream. It was a dream. I couldn't stop the tears, I tried but they just kept coming. What is wrong with me?

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