Next Life (COMPLETED)

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

I had so much on my mind that this train ride seemed to go much faster than I thought it would. I've replayed my conversations with both Kain and Alexander over and over, trying to understand. Trying to understand their side of things, but mostly trying to figure out my own mind.

I know now that I do have feelings for Kain, but even if things don't work out with Alexander I don't think I could ever pursue anything with him. I would feel as if I'm using him or stringing him along, I don't want to hurt him. I care about him enough to know that I could never fully be with him as long as Alexander is still in the picture. Even now that I know Alexander doesn't want to be with me in this life, he's still there. He might always be there, in my head, my heart.

I've been trying to assure myself that what Alexander is doing is the right thing. I think he still loves me, but he's letting me go. I know being with him in this life would be a serious challenge, but I wish he'd fight for me. After hearing from both him and Luna how hard moving on from my death was, it confuses me why now that he has me back he's letting me go so easily. I mean I can't blame just him, I haven't really fought for him either.

Tell me this Charlotte, why have you been trying to talk to me, but not trying to get the man you supposedly love back? Kain's words echo in my head. The answer is I don't know. Maybe because I want Alex to be the one to fight, since it was me who found him to begin with. He tells me that knowing that I was alive out there gave him hope, but he never tried looking for me. I don't know how he would find me, but he didn't try. Or maybe it's because I secretly know things with him aren't and wouldn't ever be the same as when I was Alexis...

The train approaches the station and I stand to grab my bag off the overhead. As I get off the train I see my mom waiting in the parking lot by her car. I immediately rush over and give her a huge hug.

She seems startled as her step falters, but she wraps her arms around me. "It's good to see you too Charlotte," she laughs. My mom and I have gotten closer since Thanksgiving despite what happened with Kain. We talk a lot more on the phone. She knows I'm keeping things from her, but she never pushes me.

I've been thinking a lot lately about telling her my secret. I trust my mom; she's the first mom I've had that truly and genuinely cares about me, that loves me. My parents as Alexis were great, but they passed before I remembered my past lives. This is the first time where I actually could tell my parents. My dad passed before I could, but I think I can tell my mom.

My mom makes small talk as we drive to my aunt's. It was going to be weird not going back to the house where I grew up, but I knew it was for the best. My mom seemed to be doing slightly better since she started living with my aunt.

We pull into the driveway and my mom grabs one of my bags. It was nice to be back in California, I think I needed a good break from Washington. I smile slightly at the Christmas lights that brightened the house, Aunt Patty had made my mom help her decorate and it was the happiest my mom has been since my dad passed. She had called me that night, telling me about it then reminiscing stories of her and my dad decorating.

Aunt Patty is suddenly swinging the front door open with a huge smile. "Charlotte!" She runs and hugs me. "How are you honey? How were your exams?"

I smile and tell her about my finals as we all go inside. The inside is just as decorated, if not more, then the outside. Each room looking festive with garland, bows, and lights scattered around. I notice a stocking with my name on it above the fireplace in the room besides the entrance. My mom had told me that Aunt Patty wanted to make her house feel like a home to the both of us.