Next Life (COMPLETED)

Chapter 20

Chapter 20

I'm on my way to my class with Alexander. Although I felt slightly better knowing Luna and Alex's relationship might be salvaged, I'm still nervous about seeing him again.

As I walk inside, the class is mostly filled thankfully. Alex's back is to me as he talks with a student. I slip past them and make my way towards the back of the classroom. I sit and set up my things before looking up to see Alexander's eyes on me. My breathing hitches as I swear I see a look of longing, but it's gone in a flash. He begins his lecture without looking my way the rest of the class.

When class ends I try to leave as quick as possible, but to my astonishment Alex asks me to stay back for a minute. I awkwardly stand in the front as the rest of the students file out. When they're all gone I look to Alexander in question.

"I just wanted to thank you for talking Luna into talking to me. She told me you went to see her to make sure you didn't ruin her relationship with me," I nod at his words, avoiding his gaze. "She told me that she couldn't forgive you as easily, even though she knows you care about me. She also said that you'd rather have her hate you and never talk to you again then for her relationship with me to be ruined. Is that true?" I still can't meet his stare even after hearing the thick emotion in his voice.

"Yeah," I simply reply.

There's a moment of silence and I risk a glance at his face. He looks so conflicted, but when he catches my eyes, his turn to awe? "You trying to save my relationship with Luna means so much to me Charlotte. You have no idea. We had a really good talk yesterday; I think we're going to be okay even if she doesn't completely trust me yet." She would if you told her the truth. "So thank you Charlotte."

Despite his appreciation, I refuse to get my hopes up that he changed his mind. "I'm glad to hear that Alexander. I hope you consider telling her the full truth one day."

He shakes his head, looking at me in what looks like pity? I can't decipher his emotions today. "Nothing has changed Charlotte. Nothing can happen between us. I thought you understood that when you risked your own relationship with Luna to save mine?"

"I do understand." I don't really. "I just think that maybe telling her the truth would strengthen your relationship even further."

"And give her false hope with you." So there it is. There's the truth. That's why he doesn't want to tell her.

"Why would it be false hope?" I ask seriously.

"She has accepted not having a mother a long time ago. If I tell her and give her hope that she has a mom then she will be hurt when you leave. I have to protect her from being hurt Charlotte." His voice is stern.

"Why would I leave?" Maybe he just doesn't want me around, so he's using this as an excuse...

He rubs his hands over his face in frustration. "I don't know Charlotte, but I can't do it. I can't tell her and I hope you can respect that decision." His words don't make sense to me. Even if he didn't want to be with me why is he denying me a possible relationship with my daughter? It's making me angry at how selfish he's being. Not telling Luna doesn't affect him the way it does with Luna and I. We are the ones being denied of a possible relationship.

He looks at me with a look that says 'just agree with me and let it go.' I don't think I've ever been so angry with Alexander, ever. He has never been a selfish person, but this was completely unfair. It's my secret, it should be my choice whether to tell her or not. Especially now that he doesn't want any kind of relationship with me. I sacrificed my relationship as at least her friend just so he could have his with her, yet he won't even consider telling her. I want to yell all of this at him, but what difference would it make? He has his mind set on not telling her.