Addicted 》l.h

0.7

~Feya~

You know that tickling feeling?

The good one?

It's bit annoying, isn't? Like why would I feel that tickling thing at my lips where he kissed me and at my hips where he touched me? This is weird...

Luke was still layed down against my floor and he was staring at my ceiling like it was the best thing in his entire life. I know he's scared. I didn't expect him to be like this, to be honest but you can tell that he's scared as fuck. I don't know why most guys are scared of fathers, I mean...they're not that scary...they simply care about their children.

On the other hand they can be really persistent on knowing things when they think that someone is their daughter's boyfriend. Now after what happened last time I guess dad will be a bit scary. I remember that I spent a whole total of three days in my room crying and not talking to anyone. Mum tried to convince me to go out, my brother used to sleep next to me for a whole week because I had nightmares every single night.

Dad wasn't happy.

But then again, I wasn't either. Until I decided that nobody was worth my tears, my nights, my sanity. Nobody. So I changed. I have completely buried memories of me before so deep in my mind that sometimes I find it hard to remember. It's like one day I decided that I'll cause some sort of amnesia to myself. If you can't remember it then it can't hurt you, right? Ignorance is bliss.

Obviously it worked. I buried the old Feya so deep so she won't get hurt again. Her happy and smiley attitude is long gone. Yes I address to her - to me - like I'm talking about a different person but then again...we are different. I changed the way I dressed, the music I listened to, I didn't pay attention to the way I looked and I really didn't care. I still don't.

I guess you can say that now I am a tomboy kind of girl while before I was a girly girl. Like a lot. My friends left. One by one. But it was better that way. I made new ones. People who actually cared about me and I missed them. The only thing I regret about leaving from Boston is that I had to leave my friends. My second family. Thinking that I don't make friends easily, I'm surprised I don't sit alone during lunch.

My friends approached me. Every single time. The girls talked to me at third grade, the ones who left me later. Then a group of outcasts you can say, came and started talking to me. They were mostly guys but there were two girls. They were better friends than my so called best friends that year. They helped be who I am now. I might seem like a total bitch now , I know that, but I really don't care.

I fell on my bed and let out a sigh. Why do things have to be so complicated? I saw Luke's head pop up; him having a really weird expression on his face. It was like he was tired and, and confused and annoyed. It soon disappeared though . Great, I had forgotten that he was here. The last thing I needed was something like this. A family dinner with a guy from school that I bet my mum thinks I like and that he likes me. If only she knew. Well there's nothing I can do really...Luke looked at me with a confused expression and I just started laughing. Just laugh and and everything goes by easier.

"What?" he asked with a smile overtaking his features. I swear at that moment he looked like a child during Christmas. He had this half smile that seemed genuine but he wasn't sure if it was appropriate to laugh or not.

"You just look so fucking confused and I don't know why I'm laughing" I admitted and continued laughing even though I probably looked really weird.

"You're weird" he said laughing slightly as well while shaking his head like he couldn't believe how weird I was. Nobody has called me weird in a while...well you look at that.