Confused » Jelsa AU

46

Elsa Winters

For the entire day, I was left in the apartment with none other than Astrid. It was quite unfortunate because I really tried my best to avoid her even though were living under the same roof and I do think that I being left alone with her would force either her or me to start an interaction.

So, I sat firmly on the couch, trying to focus onto the noontime game show being played on the television. Her, on the other hand, is seated a few spaces beside me with her gaze glued to me. I could feel it, okay. I could feel her weird gaze being thrown at me.

I swallowed, still keeping my gaze onto the television even though I was no longer listening. A few moments later, I find myself getting tired and worn out with the same thing that I was watching, so, I got up to proceed to the bedroom to sleep but I was stopped from doing that when she grabbed me by the wrist.

"Can I talk to you?" She spoke. "I really need to talk to you, Elsa." She added, making her seem like she's begging.

"Why? What do we need to talk about?" I asked, not even sparing her a glance. She never deserved my attention after what she did to me.

"I know that I only have a week left before I leave this place--"

"Get to the point, Astrid. I don't have any time for you talking about nonsense."

"I just want to s-say I'm sorry!" Astrid blurted out.

I turned around, meeting her blue eyes that gazed back at me. "Oh? You wanna say sorry? Why? Aren't you the perfect little angel that tried stealing Jack--"

"Elsa I still love you." She told me, causing me to lose all the words that were ready to be spoken out. Her gaze is innocent; too innocent for my liking. It's as if she's trying to make me believe in for the second time. But, I've learnt my lessons. I may be the one who pushed to the downfall of our relationship but she was the one who was the root of our separation.

Astrid.

Astrid always tried to make me jealous. Use men, hug them, kissed them, touch them inappropriately to get me on my knees begging her to come back to me. She wants my attention, nothing else. She wants me to be with her, showering her with compliments and affection in which I couldn't supply because I was so fed up with that ideal.

Yes, I regret hurting her physically but my mind slowly came up with a conclusion; I never loved her. I was infatuated with her. I was infatuated on how her skin felt against mine, so soft and delicate. I was infatuated with the feeling of her lips that made me feel the highs. I was infatuated with the scent of her hair that reminded me of the lavender fields. I was infatuated with her blue eyes which has the same hue of the bright blue skies. I was never in love with her.

I was simply in love with the feeling, the euphoria.

It's saddening that I only realized it when I had Jack holding the broken pieces of me together.

"That's unfortunate." I snickered, removing her grip from mine.

"Elsa please, don't push me away!" She exclaimed, tears brimming on her eyes.

"Why? So you could play with my feelings and leave me broken again?" I asked, chuckling humorlessly. "Astrid, I never loved you--"

"You're lying!" She exclaimed, tears streamed down her face.

"No, I was telling the truth."

"Shut up!" Her voice rose several decibels, her hand around my wrist tightened up to the point that it was hurting me. I tried to free myself from her grip yet I failed, instead, she pulled me down forcefully.

"What the he--" I was once again cut off when her lips landed on mine. My mind went blank in an instant and my body to go rigid. Her lips moved on mine, trying to get some action but I refused. The spark was gone-- everything was surprising, terrifying even.

Once I came back to my senses, I tried to kick her off yet she held me firmly against the couch. My body froze when her hands started to move to the most unappropriate places. If there's anything loud, it's my heart beating. Fear, anxiety, anger-- they all welled up in me as I found myself wanting to let them go.

I want to scream. I want to push her away. I want to run. But as much as I thought of myself as a strong being, I am still weak. I am still the same Elisanna Winters who was a kickover. I am still the same girl who was bullied, has no hold over her life, and a pushover.

Her hands went to my trousers and smirked. "See, I know you still want me."

"Let me go. I beg you."

"No, Elisanna. I won't let you go so that Jack could have you." She whispered, her fingers slowly sliding the garment off of my legs. I squirmed, kicked and screamed. I tried to get her of off me yet I failed for the second time.

"Let me go, bitch!" I screamed and I only recieved a giggle as a reply. She lowered to my lips, kissing me and this time, I bit down to her lip until I tasted blood. Astrid pulled away, groaning in pain.

"Let me go." I repeated.

"How many times should I repeat--"

"What's happening in here?" I felt my heart froze when I found the white haired boy standing near the television with an unreadable expression on his face. At that point, I found myself wishing that I would just die in an instant. His gaze, it was colder than winter and sharper than the icicles formed on the windowpane.

"I said what the hell is happening in here!" His tone and his words had caused me to quiever back unto the couch, praying that the worst things won't happen. Astrid exhaled, plastering a sweet smile before hopping off of me, as if nothing happened. She rushed to him, wrapping her delicate arms around his neck.

He stood there with a stoic expression as his gaze never left mine. In those blue eyes of his, I saw hurt, jealousy, betrayal, sadness, anger-- everything whirrled within.

"Get the fuck out of my apartment. I don't want to see you ever again." He spoke harshly, causing me to freeze unto my place.

No, I beg you.

"Jack--"

"Not you, Elsa." He immediately intervened and his words somehow caused slight relief. "Get your filthy hands off of me and get your bags packed."

"But--"

"GET LOST!" I closed my eyes, containing the tears that were formed and I hadn't noticed. Everything was silent and I lay there, hearing footsteps; hoping that those footsteps belonged to Astrid.

"Elsa." I heard him speak my name yet it felt cold. "Your crying won't get you anywhere, Els--"

"J-Jack it's not what you think, okay?" I stuttered, my eyes fluttered open as tears rolled down. The corner of his lips was tugged up into a sarcastic smirk.

"Oh yeah, then, what do you think happened?"

**************

SCHOOL DAYS HAD ENDED.

yesterday was probably the last day that my classmates and i would be together before we separate on our own ways...

although i wasnt that open to all of them, i would still miss those fuckers who either ruin or make my day...

it makes me sad tho

Anyways, missing my classmates isnt the only that makes me feel sad but also the fact that this story would end after i publish 3 to 4 chapters

Yes, Confused would end probably this month...

But after i finished the book, i will be publishing the extra chapters that i wrote yet were never included.

So yeah...

Love yall!