Confused » Jelsa AU

45

Elsa Winters

I can't sleep.

That is what I had told myself when the alarm clock on the bedside table screamed two-thirty in the morning. It's red numbers gleamed back at me, telling me that if I couldn't catch any sleep, I would look like shit tomorrow-- with eyebags and all.

But I don't really care.

His words kept on replaying in my mind like a broken stereo which is the main cause of me not catching some sleep. Him, telling me that he did those things to make me jealous, made me feel a bit flustered--okay, I wasn't just flustered but really flustered. Yes, I was infuriated to him because it wasn't a nice move but then, it was cute-- typical 'I-would-make-you-jealous' thing.

Then, he apologized and kissed my head.

Oh shit. Since when did I become fond of cliche things?

A sigh left my lips as I laid my head onto my arm, my gaze focused onto the wall that's right in front of me. As much as it would be deligtful to have him as my view while I wait for sleep to touch me, I couldn't because it would be awkward especially when I could no longer contain my squirming and squeals. He seemed to be much more handsome-- what's happening to me?

My heart was beating erratically with a matching stupid smile on my face as if I am some high-schooler who fell in love for the first time.

I held my cheeks with the palms of my hands, feeling the heat of them due to me blushing over and over again.

He's always sweet to me yet I never have this severe reactions to it. But why am I like this?

I shifted my position, lying on my back before I dragged the duvet up to my chin.

"You move a lot." I heard him murmur.

"I can't sleep." I responded, my gaze falling unto him.

"Trust in God then you'd find yourself falling asleep." He muttered yet his words were blurred away with his loud snoring.

Wow, thanks for the advice, Jack.

"Even when you're asleep, you're still annoying as fu--" I was immediately cut off when he suddenly moved closer, his arm settled on my waist  with his chin rested atop my head. My face is buried in his chest which I cuddled even closer, up to the point where I could no longer breathe air but his scent. 

"Would you want to talk about it or would you just want to sleep?" He asked.

"I feel like sleep will be around soon but I like talking to you, if you're okay with it." I replied.

"Sleep could wait." He spoke, pulling away from me as his gaze traveled down, meeting mine. "Tell me what's bothering you."

"H-how was your date?" I asked bluntly.

Jack gave me a blank look. "Seriously, Elsa? That's what you're going to ask me?"

A sigh escaped my lips. It was a lame question but I couldn't think of anything that's better.

"Yeah." I exhaled.

"Horrendous. She told me how she likes women but she changed because of me." He explained, sounding uninterested.

Wow, she must've bore him so much.

"She changed preference because I was there--blah, blah, blah. You know, I regret being kind and flirty to her." He continued. "I regret it so much." Jack whispered.

"It's a bit unoriginal." I mumbled out, giggling which caused him to frown.

"What's unoriginal?" Jack asked with a slight chuckle on his tone. I brought my fingers up to his cheeks, caressing his skin with my fingertips.

He chuckled as his hand met mine. "Getting touchy aren't we?"His blue eyes seem to gleam brighter under the dimmed lights and it's what makes him special.

I smiled.

My heart beats loudly, screaming no one else's name but his. He's mine and I am his, forever-- not even the end of times could separate me from him.

"Els--" I shut him off when I had placed my lips against his, silently admiring how our lips fit together like puzzle pieces.

Our eyes shut close as we indulged ourselves into the passion burning within us. His skin was against mine and mine was on his. His fingers found themselves in my hair, tangling themselves in the process while he tugged them lightly. Strings of moans escaped my lips, his name rolled of my mouth. My lips left his as I pressed butterfly kisses down his jaw and to his neck.

He groaned loudly as I pulled away from him with a smile on my face. A flash of irritation crossed his face which made me giggle.

"If you know how much I want to f--"

"Yes, I know and I could feel you against my abdomen, Jack." My words made him blush as he moved away from me, bringing the duvet up his head until he's fully covered with it. I laughed, sitting up and laid unto the wooden headboard.

"Wanna know why I find her unoriginal?" I asked.

He peeled the duvet down unto his neck as he stared at me with those sleepy eyes of his. "Why?"

"Because I was the first one who changed-- who changed for you, mon cherie." I grinned while he laid there, his eyes went wide.

"Els--" I hadn't let him finish again because I leaned down, kissing his forehead. 

"Why are you so sweet and kind to me?" He asked, chuckling before burying himself down unto the duvet.

"I-I..." I found myself biting my tongue, trying to not let those words slip off. He stared back at me, antipaciting for my answer and all I could ever give him was a smile. A smile with a mixture of fear and adoration, adoration for him only.

The fear of telling him on what I truly felt towards him creeps up into my spine and wrapped my mind. It's unsettling for when you want to open your mouth and tell it so badly yet you couldn't and instead clamped your lips together. I want to tell him that I love him as much as he loves me yet I just couldn't.

It scares me.

Once he knew that you truly love him, he would leave you just like how Astrid did. With you and your stupid ways, I bet you would just worn the poor boy out.

Jack's not like that!

He would eventually leave you.

I sighed.

"I just like you very very much."