Time For A Change

Chapter Twenty-three - Mine Forever

*Lily’s point of view*

Putting the towel around my now clean and fresh body, my heart raced in my chest as Jake planted a kiss on my neck and wrapped his arms around me from behind. “We don’t have to get out you know.” He whispered, his breathes trickled down my neck, causing my whole body to shiver with a sensation only Jake could give me. I could see his facial expression in the mirror; his eyebrows were raised and his trademark smirk was playing at the corners of his lips, just like I knew it would be.

“We have to get ready.” I groaned. “I can’t be late.” While turning around so I could face him, I whispered quietly.

“It’s only eleven, we have time.” His eyes pleaded as they scanned my body which was barely covered by the navel towel wrapped around it.

“You can stay then?” I muttered, opening the door hoping I wouldn’t run into my dad or Mike, also hoping Jake would come with me because my legs were shaking so violently and I didn’t think I’d make it down the stairs on my own.

“Your scared aren’t you?” His question stunned me. I wasn’t scared; I was absolutely petrified. I didn’t know what to expect. I felt my crystal blue eyes prick with tears. I held them back. I told myself not to cry, to stop being so pathetic, to pull myself together. My hands trembled as I tightened my towel around me, I forgot to bring my change of clothes so I had to walk through the house and into my room in a towel. I shivered as the air pricked against my skin causing goose bumps to form all over my body. “Lily?” Concern and worry was written all over his tone of voice, I didn’t want him to worry. I was okay, I was always okay; I had to be.

“I’m fine.” My voice came out barely above a whisper, my heart pounded against my chest due to fear this time. I didn’t wanna tell the police what happened, I didn’t want to relive the moments which constantly made me feel like life wasn’t worth living anymore but I knew I had to - not only for myself but for Jake. I couldn’t be happy until Luke was behind bars, I wouldn’t be able to forget anything and move on if there was still a risk he could find me again like he did before.

“Don’t lie to me, you can lie to anyone else but don’t lie to me.” He muttered, I could feel his heart breaking as I was shutting him out, it broke mine too.

“What do you want me to say?” I whispered, my voice shaking but no emotion was present. I didn’t want to push him away, I didn’t mean to but it’s what I did; I always pushed him away when I felt like it would be better than causing him pain. But maybe, just maybe the pain I caused him was much worse when I shut him out and lied to him.

“Lily look at me.” He whispered, I could tell by his voice that tears were forming in his eyes, I didn’t want to look at him, I didn’t want to look into his eyes and see the suffering which I was causing.

“I can’t.” I whispered back, my voice shaking even worse as I couldn’t control my emotions anymore and tears were spilling down my cheeks. I shivered again, why was I so cold?

“Lily, please.” It broke my heart the way I heard his sobs fill my ears. “Please, just look at me.” I couldn’t take it any longer, I needed to face him, I needed to feel his arms wrapped around me and feel him hold me as if I was the most important girl in the world.

Turning my fragile, weak and violently shaking body around, my heart shattered across the floor when I saw his flawless deep brown eyes trapping tears which looked determined to fall. It seemed like my heart had broken more in this past year than any normal person’s would in a life time. His eyes fixed on mine, causing me to look right into his soul and get completely lost and hypnotized. Without even thinking about it, I moved closer, wrapping my arms around him not caring that my towel could fall down any moment. His large arms wrapped around my petite body, holding me tightly against him. Resting my head in the crock of his neck, I cried. I cried out all the pain I had ever felt, I cried out all the fear inside of me, I cried out all the suffering I had been through.