Tough Love

Chapter Six

Chapter Six

 I’m an idiot. I’m actually an idiot. Why did I just agree to that? Now he’s going to think that its all ok; that he can just step into my life. I don’t want anybody in my life. I can’t have anybody in my life. I'm better off on my own. Everyone else will be better off as well. They'll only get hurt; I'll only get hurt. I can't believe I let this man into my apartment! This is my safe house. The one and only place that I feel a little secure and I've just ruined that. What is wrong with me?! I can't trust him; I can't trust anyone.

A plate and a person appear in front of me. I shoot backwards and put at least 6 feet between us while pointing his gun at him. Six feet is still closer than I'd like, but it's better than having him right next to me. Eli jumps away from me, like I've just thrown boiling water on him. "Dani, it's ok, it's just me, Eli. It's ok, shhhh. Just take deep breaths."

I kept a close eye on where he was and kept the gun pointed at him. I don't know what prompted me to do it, but I looked into his eyes for a brief moment. I saw hurt in them and I felt bad. He'd made me breakfast; he'd come to check on me. My frightened side was screaming at me to be sensible, that he was just like everyone else and he was just trying to get me to trust him before he broke me.

I whispered, "Just stay over there please sir."

"Ok, ok. I'll do whatever you need me to. I'll eat over at this counter. Please sit to eat Dani. I don't want to make you uncomfortable in your own house."

He must have seen something pass through my mind because he quickly corrected, "I don't want to make you more uncomfortable than you already are. I know you don't really want me here and I am thankful that you let me in. I know that must have been hard for you. Please eat. I won't come anywhere near you."

I slowly returned to my seat and picked up my fork, still holding onto the gun.

Eli watched me carefully as he ate. He noticed that I ate very cautiously and slowly. He saw the pain and torment in my eyes but he also saw the slight enjoyment that crossed my features as I put some of the food in my mouth.

"Does it taste good?"

His voice startled me and I jumped a little. "Yes sir, it does."

"It's one of my mama's recipes. I think my abuela taught her it."

"Hispanic?"

"Yes ma'am. Well, three quarters anyway. My mama is full Mexican and my papa is half Mexican, half Irish."

I nodded so he asked, "Are both of your parents Russian?"

I sighed and whispered, "They were."

"Were?"

"Yes sir. They died when I was young."

"I'm sorry. Have you always lived here?"

"No sir. Please, I'd prefer not to talk about this, if that's ok with you."

"Sure. So, what's your favourite food?"

He shot me a smile, letting me know that he was ok with the subject change.

I thought for a bit. "I don't know. Italian or Mexican maybe."

"Good choices. What about music?"

I didn't hesitate before saying, "Blues." 

He chuckled, "Wow, you didn't even need to think about that. Got a favourite artist?"

"Buddy Guy I think. John Mayer comes a close second."

"John Mayer is cool. I've seen him in concert a few times."

He saw a tiny sparkle in my eyes, so he continued describing the concert. "He is actually pretty amazing live. If you take away all the lights and just listen to the music it can take you away for where you are standing and lift you to another world."