crybaby- Lil Peep fanfiction

chapter 13

ok was the last chapter as bad as i think it was? bc i thought it was awful. i wanted to introduce the idea of dancing but i also wanna play with cassie (new girl) and tracy. i also really want to write more about lucas and bianca and what it does to gus and i can't decide if i want to let bianca's mom know about her ongoing depression. ugh this story is impossible to write 

ALSO WHEN LUCAS SAYS THE N WORD: he is white and it was intended to be offensive towards tracy :)

tracy pov

i cant stop thinking about what gus told me. bianca self-harms. she must be a VERY good actress because i have never noticed it. now that i think about it though, she does always wear long sleeves and pants. i knew she had some shit going on upstairs, but i never knew how bad it got. what if that wasnt the only thing going on, though? she had prescription xanax for her anxiety, but what if she was taking more than one a day? imagine if she were to overdose; gus would probably kill himself. i still can't believe how much peep loves her. bianca dumped him (although she seems very hurt too) and he is worried about her destructive habits. 

skip three weeks to a friday: everyone knows about lucas (yuck) and bianca being together now, gus is constantly on some kind of drug, brooke is still shocked and confused, bianca has now found a way to get her own weed and is still in the same lucas situation, tracy is still convinced there is more to the story (smart kid)

i walk into school and start chatting with bianca--i like to keep tabs on her so i might be able to tell if she starts hurting herself. her punk-ass boyfriend, lucas, swings by and i hear him say something into her ear. "you arent allowed to hang out with scary niggers like this. you're going to pay for that later," he hisses, looking me up and down. bianca looks cold and closed off. he starts to put his gross hands on her, and suddenly i am overcome with rage. i step closer to him, gently moving bianca out of my way. "fuck off," i say, surprising myself with how mean i sound. her eyes grow wide. "you fuck off," he says pushing me backwards by my shoulders. "she belongs to me, not you." "actually, she doesnt belong to anyone," i say, getting up in his face. i'm about 3 inches taller than him, so i have the advantage. "you see, babe? niggers are scary," he smirks, maintaining eye contact with me. bianca's jaw drops; she knows that wasnt ok. suddenly, my fist connects with his nose. i wasnt really planning on getting physical, but he crossed a line. people are starting to crowd around us, but i dont care. he hits back with a weak ass punch to my stomach. i sock him in the jaw on reflex. he punches me back in the eye. it barely phases me. i knock him down a few pegs when my blows land on his face. we continue on like this as some people start to record it. suddenly, i feel someone's hands pulling me away from this bitch. "hey! cut it out!" a voice booms behind me. i stop thrashing as they pull us away from each other. "to the office, NOW!" the man says. he turns his eyes to bianca, who was now seated against the locker-cover wall with a blank expression on her face. "young lady, were you involved in this?!" i butt in. "no, it was all me and lucas," "you dont need to defend your little girlfriend, im sure she can answer for herself," the school officer says to me. i almost burst out laughing right there. bianca shoots me a grin. "yeah, t. i can answer for myself," she mocks. "no. i was not involved in this," she says, looking back at the resource officer. he nods. he takes lucas and i to his official 'office space' and makes us talk it out. ew. 

gus pov

i cant believe tracy just beat up lucas. what did lucas do? he probably deserved it. "what was that about?" i ask bianca, dirty sprite in hand. she just shakes her head. see what you do? you arent even dating, yet you still made her uncomfortable. now she is all closed off because you couldnt respect your boundaries, you fucking retard. i furrowed my eyebrows, but i didnt dig. i just turned my back and walked away.