Almost (KimXi)

13: You call it madness, but I call it love

(Another Song) All Over Again by Justin Timberlake

You've been alone, you've been afraid

I've been a fool in so many ways

But I would change my life

If you thought you might try to love me

So please give me another chance

To write you another song

And take back those things I've done

'Cause I'll give you my heart

If you would let me start all over, again

Nathan

"Mad at me?" I asked her, but, she wasn't looking at me.

I'm glad that she agreed to see me and talk to me. I didn't think that she would even reply to my messages.

I really hesitated to try to talk to her at first because I knew that she would just say no to me, over and over. But, there was a part of me that knew how stupid and messed up my explanation was to her the last time.

I just had to talk to her again.

"I don't know. I don't think I can be mad at you for too long, but," she replied. It's hard to see her like this, trying so hard to stop herself from crying.

"I don't know what to say."

I have no idea why I said that. There was so much I wanted to say. I said those words to myself, over and over, before I went to see her. But now, that she's right here standing in front of me, that is all that came out.

"You don't have to say anything because you already did. I just want you to let me go..." she replied. And this time she looked straight to my eyes. Tears were starting to fall down her face.

I didn't expect her to say those words to me. She wanted me to let her go.

I tried. I really did. But, I can't seem to. The thought of her not being in my life is painful. I really don't think I can.

"I tried that, didn't I? But, I just can't stay away from you." I said, trying to calm her down.

"Then, you're SELFISH. You know that? All you have to do is say that... y-you w-want to be... with me... more than you w-wanna be with h-her..." she yelled, stuttering.

My chest is getting heavy, seeing her like this. I want to comfort her, hug her, kiss her and tell her that I love her and everything's going to be okay. But, I can't. I know that it will only make things worse.

It's killing me to know that she's miserable because of me.

"That's all it will take. But, you can't. Because, I-i'm not good.. e-enough for you and... s-she is." she continued.

"You know I love you..." I needed to say it. I really do love her. All I want is to see her happy, and if it means I have to let her go, I would. "And, you know that's why I can't choose you, because, I don't want to hurt you. All the long distance crap is too hard."

"Ayaw mo lang ako masaktan? Sa palagay mo ba, hindi ako nasasaktan?! Palagay mo ba, sa ginagawa mo, mas nagiging okay ako? Ha?!"

I couldn't understand what she was saying, but, I could tell how angry and hurt she was.

"It's always the same crap every single time, bud. I wish I could understand, but, I really can't. I'm sorry, but, I have to be selfish too... Just leave me alone, 'kay? Please..." Sam begged. She didn't try to stop herself from crying anymore.