BURYING THE FANGIRL IN ME
My love for you was a secret
You were just so incredible
Until I got so addicted
And cared less of what Allah thinks.
I used to tell myself my fondness over you
Was just a temporary relaxing habit
Until I downloaded most of your songs and videos
Until I learned some things about your personal life, your best and worst side.
Sure enough, a day does not go by without listening or looking at you
Telling myself this is just normal thing people usually do
But I know with certainty Islam forbids such idolship
And I was just looking for many excuses.
It isn't because you make me sleep late and miss my salah
It isn't because I have become part of your fandom all over the world
But it's because I sense my heart already feeling more for you
Than remembering My Maker Who's Most Merciful.
G - Dragon you have been my ultimate bias
But this habit of mine needs to finally stop
I may not be one of your 10million instagram followers
But my likeness for you has been way too sinful.
For Allah warns us of such idolatry
And Muhammad (s.a.w) feared of this day when people forget their deen intentionally
I honestly do care about you Kwon Jiyong
But I gotta escape from being on the wrong.
You GD Oppa is such an amazing human being
And in some of my du'a, your name I've been mentioning
However, it can only be limited at that
There'll be no more checking out of your youtube music videos every night.
I belong to Allah
You belong to HIM too
And One Day, we all shall return to HIM
For the accountability of our deeds
And to measure how God - conscious we have been.
On that Day, there'll be no one's help we can get
I cannot help you
You cannot help me too
Either we fall upon His Wrath
And enter Hell - Fire
Or be saved by His Mercy
And be admitted to Paradise.
So this in shaa Allah
Is my goodbye and promise
To only see you
As part of HIS beautiful creation
Not for me to adore nor love that much
But as one of HIS Signs that HE Alone is One
HE Alone must we worship
HE Alone must we devote
All of our time and effort.
Astaghfirullah al - azim.
Allahuma Ameen.
