Chapter 11:

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The spring air grew to an end as the sun shined… May. The month of happiness and my definition of summer. I’m back to school, still ignoring the boy that shan’t be named and unfortunately I’m not talking about Voldemort. The last I’ve heard of him was almost a month ago. If I told you how I felt, would you judge me?

My heart still aches whenever I see his face. It’s unavoidable at school. Every stupid class I’m in, every single day, he’s there. From the corner of my eyes I know that he sees my pain and I know he loves it. Seeing a girl as helpless and loner-like as I am, devoting her time on Earth being an upset lemon, imagine the satisfaction he feels. It kills. I hate how I love you. I hate how you don’t even think about me anymore. I hate how you’re alive and happy and I’m depressed as fuck. There I said it. I said it. I don’t understand how I have to be in a stupid situation like this. I don’t understand why he gets to be just peachy even after he threw me away once he found anew. The world confuses me. 

A finger annoyingly tapped my shoulder.

Brianna was back by the way. My best friend was back.

“Amber?”

*Tap tap*

I forced a smile to her as I removed the sound of Ed Sheeran’s angelic voice from my ears.  “Hi hunny, what’s up?”

“WE HAVEN’T SPOKEN IN AGES IDIOT.” She said laughing to herself. “Omg. Omg. I’m so happy I met Francisco!! He’s coming to Ireland you know! He is seriously so bloody fit I can’t even!! ARGH. You know when I went to France it was literally so PERF. I WANNAR GO BACK. Have you tried them lovely things called Macaroons? They’re AMAAAAAAAAZING.”

I nodded my head, still unsure of what she was on about.

“WELL? What have you done whilst I was gone babe?” she sighed.

I breathed in. “Uhm. Noth-“

“OMG. YOU KNOW WHAT’S BEEN GOING AROUND!?” she interrupted.

Her finger swayed as she motioned for me to come closer.

“Apparently yeah, people have been saying that you went out with Niall Horan.”

I shuddered, cringing at the words that flew from her mouth.

“And I was thinking. WHO WAS THE FUCKING NUTTER WHO SAID THAT!? Hahahah. Obviously we all know that Niall wouldn’t ever go out with you. He’s like, a fitty and I mean look at you, you aren’t even that pre-“She clasped her hand to her lips. "I didn't mean-"

“I didn’t mean that!” She quickly responded. "Amber, babe come on it's the truth though!" She said as she rolled her eyes.

I bit my lip, fists white from anger. I pushed the table away from me as I gathered my things.

“Amber what are you-“My geography teacher Mr. Simmons exclaimed. The boy I hated turned around as he faced me with concern; he quickly jolted up only for his friend to pull him back down.

I ran out the class, tears now relentlessly flowing down my cheeks.

My bestfriend. MY OWN FRIEND. You know what?! Why can’t all these people just fucking forget about me? I don’t need any of you. You’re all assholes who aren’t worth my trust. You make me believe in your spells. You made me believe that you’d be there only to use it against me. If you don’t like me say it to my face. All this time those rumors of Brianna were true, how she always back-stabbed me behind my back and I was naive enough, idiotic enough to deny them. I should've seen this coming.

“UGH.” I banged my fists on the wall, teeth clenching with rage.

A soft cry echoed from the empty room. My back leaned against the white dirty wall as I slowly fell to the floor. Water continued to stream, why do I waste my tears on these people? Why do I let them affect me so much? All everyone does is fucking belittle me all the god damn time. How can someone just say whatever the fuck they like without care? You have control over your words. And it just keeps building up inside me. All your snide comments stuck in my mind. I’m sick and tired of getting hurt because of the shallow people fo High School. I’m sick and tired of never being good enough for all you twats. That’s it. I’m done with friends, I’m done with relationships. Out of everyone in the world, why was I chosen to be the victim of hurt? My heart pumped faster as I now felt a pain worth one thousand stings from a wasp enter my hand.

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