Chapter 9:

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I stared at myself in the mirror… Picking out the worst in me. I know looks aren’t supposed to matter, but when you’re living in a society like today. It’s just impossible for silly things like these to cross your mind.

“Okay Amber… What do you hate about yourself?” I faced a reflection. Looking with pure sadness as I turned away. This isn’t going to work. By doing this challenge I would just be more insecure. I breathed in and out, hoping that oxygen would continue to keep me sane.

“What do I like about myself?” And that’s where it hit me. I was completely thoughtless. My mind grew to a blank, frozen. I wore my baggy sleeve-less Beatles shirt and black leggings along with my army boots and hair tied up into a bun. Today was non-school uniform day. An end to a term, happy times. My eyes began to blur. Nothing popped into my head. I didn’t like a single thing about myself. …It’s pathetic.

A single tear rolled down my cheek.

I’m so glad Mum’s off to a business trip with Dad. I’m happy they trust me enough to let me stay at home alone. How was today going to go? I checked my wrist watch and realized if I didn’t leave any minute now I’ll be late. I quickly ran down the spiral staircase and headed towards the door, my hands grabbing my brown fringed satchel as I then closed the entrance shut.

I soon arrived at school, a smile placed on my face even if I wanted to hide myself from humanity. The last time I saw Niall was a couple of weeks ago. He’s been really busy and hasn’t been returning my calls. Truth be told, I didn’t even know what’s happening between us. IF there’s anything going on. We've said ‘I love you’ to each other but friends do those things rights? But wee kissed and there isn’t an explanation to that. He's been so distant that I never had the chance to confront him.

I ran to my usual sound-proofed area in the music room. Locked. The sound of a song I couldn’t put my finger on muffled from the inside. I guess I hadn’t book it today. I shook my head at my own actions. Grabbing a chair from the side of the room, I placed it against the door as both my feet stepped on the grey seat. I tried to peak my big brown eyes through the small window at the top to see who was inside. I hated being short. I tipped my toes, my shirt unknowingly riding up.

The door barged opened as I froze in shock. My belly showing and both hands in the air. 

“What a lovely view.”

“I’m not a freak, I swear!” I said still unaware of who was inside.

My head dropped down as I got off the chair and faced a familiar person.

“Well hello there.” I coughed whilst pulling down my shirt. "I haven't seen you in quite a while, Horan." I half-smiled.

“I’m a busy guy.” He laughed.

“I can see that.” I said staring at the guitar he held. “You play?”

“Yeah… for a while now actually.” He grinned, proud of himself.

"Ahh I see your hair’s longer now rock star.” I chuckled. “Show me what you got hot stuff.” I wiggled my eyebrows as he cackled in response.

I moved the chair and ran inside the room while he then shut the door.

“What do you want to hear doll face?” He said seriously.

“You choose.” I smiled up at him as I sat on top of an unwanted desk in the side.

He chuckled.

“I have the perfect song.”

I watched Niall’s face as he began to strum the instrument gently.

“I need you, boo, I gotta see you, boo. And the hearts all over the world tonight.

Said the hearts all over the world tonight.”

I smiled as I realised this was one of my favourite tunes. Niall stared directly at my eyes, knowing this as he serenaded the words to me.

“Oh, little cutie when you talk to me. I swear the whole world stops. You’re my sweetheart and”

The rosey cheeked boy fell next to me as he sang. Niall playfully nudged me as the words slurred from his lips.

“I’m so glad that you’re mine. You are one of a kind and-. You mean to me what, I mean to you and, together baby there is nothing we won’t do.”

He winked at me as grin was plastered onto his face. He soon bounced back up to his feet and ended his instrument playing with his final strum. Niall held out his hand as I put mine on top of his shyly.

“Cause if I got you, I don’t need money, I don’t need cars. Girl you’re my all! And, oh! I’m into you, and girl no one else would do. Cause every kiss and every hug, you make me fall in love and now I know I can’t be the only one. I bet there’s hearts all over the world tonight, with the love of their life who feels what I feel when I’m, with you. With you, with you, with you, with you!”

Niall twirled me around like a ballerina and soon after I curtsied which caused us both to throw our heads back and let loose. I stepped farther away, clapping my hands and nodding my head in approval, still laughing. He opened his arms wide as I ran in to hug him.

“I’m impressed.” I said cheekily.

“Well does that deserve a kiss?” He smiled quirkily whilst raising an eyebrow.

Our foreheads leaned against each others as he smirked.

He bit his lip as I brushed my own against his, knowing how worked up he would get when I teased him. Just as Niall leant in towards me I turned around causing him to kiss the back of my head.

“NO FAIR.” He responded, wrapping his arms around me from behind.

“Niall why are you snogging my hair?” I teased, now holding his hands.

“Now I look crazy..” He sighed whilst we rocked from side to side.

“You look gorgeous by the way babe.” He whispered to my ear. “I enjoyed seeing your belly button.” He sneered as he pulled a face.

I laughed. “You're just too nuts for my liking, I'm afraid. Why are we friends!?”

“Cause I’m amazing?” He chuckled.

 “OH YEAH. THAT WAS IT." I sarcastically snapped. "But thank you my good sir, you don’t look too bad yourself.” I giggled.

As we continued to shuffle from side to side, questions popped into my head as my mind was over-crowded with answers I had wanted, comforting words to tell me everything was okay. I frowned, knowing that this wouldn't come easy. Everything felt like it was changing and I didn't know why.

“But in all honesty, why haven’t you been speaking to me?” I said with a hint of disappointment.

Niall moved in front of me, not letting go of my hands.

“I was just busy. Simple as that.” His blue pearls gazed at me and although I didn't believe it, I faintly smiled at him for reassurance.

From the pit of my stomach I knew something was wrong. I wanted to ask him, I knew things weren't right. Niall was never this shifty and I couldn't bring myself up to think that he might've done  something wrong. The urge to keep him with me and deny my thoughts grew. I shook my head as I tried to forget about it. It was strange… I just couldn’t help but feel as if he was lying to me.

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