MerDer//Different Endings

Death and All His Friends PT2//6x24

At first it's really cold. The walls are painted a light blue with nothing on them. I sit on a black leather couch. Now it's warming up. The door opens and he walks in. I want to smile but something is holding me back. 

"What are you doing here?" Derek asks. He leans on the white door frame. I can't see what is behind him. 

"I died," I say breathlessly. "Are you mad?" I ask. Derek just looks down to the ground and doesn't say anything. "I was mad. For along time. I was sorry. Sorry that I couldn't save you; that they couldn't save you. I missed you Derek, a lot. And I know I shouldn't do this to Lexie or Richard. But I miss you, and I am mad."

"I'm not mad," Derek says smiling. I smile back at him and stand up from the couch, walking over to him. He stands up right and pulls me into his chest. I wrap my arms around his neck and breathe in his scent. "It's not to late Meredith," Derek whispers into my ear. I pull back out of the hug and look him in his eyes. 

"I don't want to go back, Derek." I tell him. He grabs my hands and they dangle together.

"Meredith, once we go back there, there's no going back. That's it," Derek says not looking me in the eye. 

"OK," I reply, ready for this moment. Derek slowly lets go of one of my hands and turns towards the door. 

"Ready?" I nod my head. Derek takes one step forward and stops. He looks back at me and I give him a reassuring smile. He then starts to walk again and I follow. 

When we get in the new room, there's people everywhere. People I know, some I don't. Theres a guy here that looks like Derek, a little girl, my..... mom. 

"Meredith!" My mother waves. I smile at her and start walking towards the table she's sitting at. Derek follows me and takes a seat next to her. 

"Hi!" I say, she frowns and puts down the cards she's playing with the guy. 

"What did you do?" She asks. I look at Derek, he just smiles at me. Something inside of me tells me that my mother has changed, that she's actually a mother. 

"I- um, died," I whisper. "I killed myself." 

"Oh Meredith," she says. She then gets up and gives me a hug; which is shocking but comforting. I let a tear trickle down my face and she pulls back. "Wanna play cards?" She asks picking up her cards and nudging me in the shoulder. I smile at her and let out a little laugh. I look at the little girl who kind of looks like me. 

"Who's the little girl?" I ask. The girl smiles at me and jumps up and down. 

"I'm Melany!" She says happily. 

"Thatchers," my mother whispers. She miscarried? Melany died when she was little? "We won't go into to detail, but Mely doesn't call me mom, in fact she looks up to Derek as her dad. It's kind of sweet actually! Derek's been telling Mely stories about,"" Right as mom says that Melany hops into Derek's lap and smiles. 

"Hi Melany!" I say smiling. She hides in Derek's chest which makes me smile even more. 

"You're pretty!" She says quietly. I look up at Derek who is smiling at me. He tickles Melany and then gives her a break. 

"Mely why don't you go sit with Grandpa, OK?" He says to her. She nods her head and walks over to the man sitting next to my mom. 

"Derek?" 

"Mr. Shepherd. The guy that raised me." Derek says quietly. I look at him with great sympathy and smile. I turn to Mr. Shepherd and smile. 

"Meredith!" I say. He looks up from talking to the little girl and smiles. 

"Ah, Christopher Shepherd," he says. "You must be the wife?" He asks, I nod. "Well, it's nice to meet you!" 

"You too!" I reply. Derek stands up from the chair and grabs my hand. 

"Excuse us," Derek says pulling me out of the room. When we exit I realize that were in a house. 

"So how does this work?" I ask. Derek holds my hand as we continue to walk around the house. We get to the front door, and he opens it. 

"Heaven?" 

"Yeah." 

"Well, it's pretty much like regular life, but less stuff goes on," he says. We go out the door and I see a neighborhood I've never seen before. "In this life nobody can get killed, hurt. Your immortal. So now we have all of the time. Oh and this is where all the dead people live. All of us," he tells me. 

"So we can still have sex, right?" I ask quietly, he laughs. 

"We can still have sex," he replies making me smile. He stops walking and he turns my way, facing me. 

"You still love me? Even if I did just do something really selfish?" 

"I still love you!" 

"Good. I love you too!" He replies. 

Welcome to heaven. 

Heyyyooo. Okay, so a lot of y'all requested a part 2, so here ya go. Sorry it's kind of short, but I couldn't really think of anything because this wasn't my plan, but it was no problem! Another request was like a suicide prevention talk thingy, so here we go.... 

5 years ago my sister tried to kill herself right in front of me(not asking for pity), and then it kept happening. Now as I grow up I too, I get those thoughts. It's not easy, and it never will be. But when I started to have people by me, it helped a lot. Talking to people or writing your thoughts down can really help. It may hurt at first because it makes it more true, but it will help. If you don't have anyone to talk to, or are scared, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I was scared at first too, I thought that they were going to tell me that the thoughts were dumb or that I was normal. And at first I didn't even have anyone to talk to. But there is hope. And if you don't have anyone to talk to, private message me, or go onto my Instagram(it's in my bio) and message me. Even if you're not suicidal, or depressed, don't worry, you can still vent to me, and tell me your worries. I am always here!

I had a councilor in junior high, and one time he said that suicide is selfish. He is right and wrong. If he had to get inside the persons head who was depressed or scared or lonely, he would know that these people were/are just tired of it. Tired of being the second choice, the person who eats lunch alone, or even the person who has it all but is just scared. And as him for being right, it is selfish, just a little bit. What about your parents? Your friends? The people who you've helped? And don't tell me for one second that they haven't cared once, because I am sure they have. They care, they do, you just have to believe it.

Suicide is serious, and sad. If you are struggling for help, private message me or call the suicide hotline 1-800-273-8255.