MerDer//Different Endings

Bring The Pain//2x05

"I actually said pick me, choose me, love me."

Derek's Prov.

"So pick me, choose me, love me," Meredith pleads with tears in her eyes. "I'll be at Joe's tonight, if you decide to sign the papers meet me there at 8:00," she finishes. Meredith leaves the room, leaving me alone in the scrub room.

I know I have a hard choice to make. Meredith or Addison. If I choose Meredith, I would get a fresh start. New life, new beginnings.

If I choose Addison, it may take weeks, even months to repair what we have broken. Old life, not so new beginnings.

I know that I have to choose the right person, make the wise decision, and I only have 4 hours to do so.

I walk out of the scrub room to go find Addison and tell her. Tell her that I am making a choice whether she likes is or not. I know that I also needed to be kind about this to her, too, even if she is Satan.

If I did choose Meredith I knew I would have to respect Addison for the rest of my life, and make sure that things go smoothly for her. And if I choose Addison, I would have to respect Meredith, even though she probably wouldn't even want to talk to me. Oh yeah, theres that too. If I do make the decision to stay with Addison, I would have to spend time having someone hate me, resent me, most likely want me dead. I don't know if I could have the person that I am falling in love with hate me. I certainly don't ever want her to hate me. I want her to love me. I know she loves me, its not like she didn't just say it. But of course there's also Addison. I had spent the past eleven years with her. That's eleven Christmases, eleven birthdays, and eleven Thanksgivings. I couldn't just get get divorced because I'm falling in love with a new person. But people do that all the time, right? Sure, so why can't I?

I am suddenly kicked out of my own world when Addison comes into view. "Addie!" I say a little louder than I expected. She looks up from the chart she's checking and I see the worried look on her face. I motion my head to an on-call room, and then start walking towards it, Addison following.

"Yes?" She asks, moving her head a little.

"This is it," I tell her, letting out a breath that I didn't know I was holding.

"What do you mean this is it?" She asks, raising her voice.

"We're over," I tell her sitting on the bed.

"So what, you're going to run off with your slutty intern," she starts but I cut her off.

"She is not a slut Addie, she's not like you. I fell in love with her, and she fell in love with me. This is over, it was over 4 months ago when you decided to sleep with Mark," I snap back at her, then walk out of the room.

So this is it. My new life.

Meredith's Prov.

"On a scale of 1-10 how stupid do you think that was?" I ask Cristina as she gives me a surprised look. I just finished telling her about my big speech to McDreamy.

"It wasn't stupid at all. It was smart. Mer, I hate romance-y things, but that, that was- Meredith you and Derek deserve to be with each other," she says, lighting up a bit on the last part. She finishes then walks away back to the elevator. While I just give her a small smile and watch her walk out of the basement. Was she right, do Derek and I really deserve to be with each other?

I decide to head back up stairs to see if there is anything I can do. Of course everybody is on top of things for once. I go to an on-call room to try and get some sleep, because I know either way, tonight I was getting no sleep. I plop onto the bed and lay my head on the pillow, letting out a heavy sigh. That's when I lose control of everything. Tears start streaming down my face, and I simply just can't contain them. I cry for about 5 minutes when I finally let sleep catch me.

I wake up at 7:45. Sleeping for 3 hours was kind of my thing I guess. I get up and go to the interns locker room to change back into my street clothes. I get changed, walk out of the hospital, and see that it's 8:00 right on the dot. I walk across the street over to Joe's.

I enter just like any other normal person in the bar, except I'm waiting for somebody who most likely isn't even going to show up. I sit at the bar and order a tequila, the usual. I sit there alone until George comes up to me. "So, what time is McBastard supposed to be coming?" He asks, emphasizing 'McBastard'.

"He's suppose to be here in 5 minutes, I hope." I say to him. Of course I don't want to get my hopes up, because I am Meredith Grey, but couldn't there be a chance he's coming?

I am pulled out of my thoughts when I hear the bar door open and close. Of course it could be anybody, but I had a feeling that it's him, so I turn my head a little, and there he is. Derek Shepherd showed, but was he just going to tell me he's going to stay with Addison. I just keep looking forward until he comes up to me. "So, hold a radio over your head?" He asks me smiling and leaning onto the bar.

"Oh shut up." I say to him smirking a little bit. He leans in a little bit, until our lips are touching, it's nice, it's fresh. He pulls back after about 20 seconds.

"I love you too," he tells me, a huge smile plastered across his face.

"So you pick me?" I ask smiling, but on the verge of tears.

"I pick you," he says in a soft tone.

"Okay." I say. He grabs my hand, leads me out of the bar, and to his car. When we get to his trailer, that is when the fun begins.

Remember, no sleep tonight.