Courage

Chapter 35. Fair enough

Jen's POV

I want to hug him at this very moment, I want to comfort him, I want to be able to do something.

I wish I could take away his pain.
I would like to go back in time, reject that appointment to walk together through the streets of New York.

I wish I had never met him before.
Yes, if Eric had not met me, none of this would be happening.

I dropped on the bed.
My agitated breathing was starting to bother me.

I looked up at Eric, "I'm really sorry, I really am."

He didn't answer. He just looked at the floor, very quiet.

I want to hug him.

"Don't be."

I frowned when I heard it. "What?"  

"Don't be. I am sorry"

"WHAT?"

Eric looked me straight in the eyes. "I'm angry, I'm not going to deny it, but the truth is that I have to thank you for being honest with me." He said as he approached me.
"Having met you was one of the most beautiful things that have ever happened to me, Jennifer."

I don't deserve this.

"I was a man who had stopped believing in love and you showed me I was wrong." Eric continued.

"I did that?"

"Yes."

My jaw dropped due to surprise.

How is it possible? I don't understand any of this.

"I wish I could avoid all this suffering, Eric, but I can't. I feel terrible."

He sat next to me and took my hand. "I guess fate has other plans."

"I don't deserve you, Eric."

He laughed at my comment, but sadly.

"Don't say that."

"It's true."

"No, it is not." He sighed. "Do you know what is it?" 

"What is it?"

"A misunderstanding."

"Oh, yes? "

He thought for a few seconds. "Mmm," he looked me straight in the eyes. "I think we're out of time. "

"Out of time?"

"Yes."

Eric pursed his lips before speaking. "What I want to say is that we met at the wrong time."

Maybe Eric is right. I don't know.

At this moment my head is not working, I'm not working.

He shook my hand again. "I need to ask you a favor, Jen. I need you to tell me everything, I want to know the truth. "

Fair enough, I thought.

"Okay, I'm going to tell you everything."

He nodded.

And that's what I did, I told him everything.

I told him about Colin, about when we first met, about my feelings for him. I tried to explain to him that I fell in love with him almost from the first moment I saw him.

I wish I could avoid all this suffering, but it is not possible.

I must be honest with him as well as he did when he told me his story.

I never imagined that it would be so difficult.

"What will happen now?" He asked.

"What do you mean?"

"With Colin..."

"I don't know. He said he needed time."

Eric snorted. "I guess you love him a lot."

That's right, I love him with all my heart. Colin is the love of my life.

I would like to explain to Eric that it was never my intention to hurt him; I would like to tell you that knowing him was one of the most beautiful things that has happened to me in a long time, but that wasn't enough to forget about Colin.

You must be honest with him, I repeated to myself. "Yes, I love him so much."

Eric pursed his lips in disgust.

I knew perfectly what it felt like.

For years I hid my feelings, suffering from seeing Colin with his wife, listening to him talk about his family and how much he loved Helen.

Of course I know what it feels like.

Eric stood up in front of me. When his hand released mine, a strange emptiness seized my chest. It hurt to know that I was going to lose Eric.

I know it's selfish, but I really feel it.

"Listen to me carefully, please," he said. "I love you... And I will wait for you." 

WHAT!?

He continued speaking before he could say a word, "I'm aware that you love another person, believe me I know, but I also know that he has a wife and a family."

"I don't understand—

—"I'm not sure he leaves his family to be with you," he said. "Sooner or later he's going to hurt you, and when that happens, I'll be by your side."

I-CAN-NOT-BELIEVE-WHAT-I'm-LISTENING.