Courage

Chapter 22. Story of my life

"Your brother," I said. "He seemed surprised that you were with a woman."

"Oh. That..."Eric seemed to be searching for the right words to answer. "It's just that I've been alone for a long time."

"Oh."

"I lost the person I loved, after that, there was no one else in my life."

Jen's POV

I could see Eric's sadness reflected in his eyes. The pain in his words made me shudder.
I wanted to know more about it, but I didn't dare to ask.

I know I've only seen Eric a few times, but I wish I could comfort him, I wish I could hug him right now, but I do not know if it's the right thing to do.

I just stood beside her in silence, waiting for him to decide to talk to me, or maybe not, maybe he needs to be alone.
I had my right hand on his back, our legs were touching, we were looking down, neither of them dared to move.

I must go? What should I say? Maybe I should say "goodbye, good night", take my things and go home.

I had my right hand on his back, our legs were touching, we were looking down, neither of them dared to move.

Eric turned his body to me and took my right hand with both of his hands.

I tightened my jaw.

"Jen, I was supposed to get married 20 months ago." Eric said looking into my eyes.

I didn't expect that at all.

"Y-you—

"But my girlfriend died in a car accident," he said. "I think this is the first time I talk about it," he squeezed my hand tightly. "Actually, with the only one I talk about this is my brother."

"Ryan," I said.

Eric nodded.

"It's been almost two years but it still hurts, you know?"

I couldn't believe what he was telling me, his love story was much sadder than anyone I've heard before.

"I'm sorry, Eric, really," that's all I was able to say.

"Now I'm better, it wasn't easy at first, but I've improved," he said. "My brother has been very helpful."

This is a good time to say something, Jen.

But my body didn't react.

Eric realized that.

"I know this is weird, but I thought you should know, I don't know."

"No, it's fine. It's just...I- I'm surprised, that's all."

And that was all I said. Everything we said, at least for a few hours.

Eric offered me ice cream. We ate, then we drank some wine, we talked but it wasn't the same. The tension in the room could be cut with scissors.

My head went round and round trying to assimilate everything that had happened.

I met a guy, he likes me, he's nice, I like to hang out with him, all this looks good, right? All this seems normal, or simple, but it is NOT.

To be honest, my love life is not simple, on the contrary, it's a complete disaster.

Eric's pain had caught me off guard.

"Jen, you're very quiet," Eric said.

"It's late, I'm tired. I think I should go back to the hotel."

"Are you okay? You can stay here if you want."

"Here? With you?"

Eric narrowed his eyes. "Yes, with me."

"Maybe not a good idea."

"Obviously something happens to you and you're not telling me."

"No, no, of course not. I just want to go home."

He looked at me without understanding what was happening.

I didn't understand what was happening to me either.

"I'll drive you to the hotel," Eric said.

"Don't," I said. I was starting to feel annoyed.

"Jen, please."

Eric took my hand but I pulled it away violently.

"Don't touch me!"

"What the hell happens to you?"

"You want to know what's happening to me? It's pretty clear, don't you think?
You invite me to your apartment, we have a good time, we are about to have sex and suddenly your brother appears, without any warning," I had to stop, I needed air. I know, when I'm nervous, I talk very fast. "You run out of the room and tell me to wait for you there, which was quite uncomfortable."

Eric opened his mouth to protest but I kept talking, no one was going to stop now.

"I know, you did not expect your brother to appear out of nowhere. I get it," I swallowed and then looked back at Eric, he was standing in front of me without even moving. "And then you throw me all your story and...and... I don't know what to do... "

Eric took a step toward me, grabbed me by the shoulders and stared into my eyes.

"Breathe," he said.

I nodded.

"What a date, huh?" Eric said and I snorted.

"Yep."

"You're one of those who flee when things get tough, isn't it?"

"N-no."

"Oh. And why do you want to go?"

"Because... I... Maybe you're right, I run when things get bad."

Eric smiled grimly.

"I always do."

"What? You just run away?"

"Yes, because I'm afraid of getting hurt."

"Have you been in love?"

"Yes," I said.

I couldn't look at him. "Many times I thought I was in love, but no."
I sighed. "All it took was meeting the right person and everything changed."

"That man broke your heart?"

"It was my fault," I said. "I fell in love with a married man."

Eric pursed his lips.

I realized I did not want to leave, not anymore. I wanted to stay there with him.
I suppose that sometimes it is necessary to share our feelings with someone who is willing to listen to us. In fact, it's very liberating.

My hands were still shaking.

"This is good." Eric said.

"What?"

"I'm glad we've been honest with each other."

"Yes, me too."

He didn't hesitate, took my face with both hands and kissed me.