Song for the chapter:
Imagine dragons // Demons.
Melody's P.O.V
"Are you sure you don't want to come?" He asks me for the fifth time.
"Yes Harry now go have fun!" I say shoving him a little toward the door. "I'll be fine," I assure him with a small smile.
He sighs bringing his hand up to cup my face causing goosebumps to arise on my skin. He presses his warm, soft lips to my head. "Be good, call me if you need anything, okay?" I roll my eyes at his fatherly comments. "I promise now go." I say. He shoots me one last dimpled smile before sighing once more, nodding then finally walking out shutting the door behind him.
Last night we fell asleep not long after I apologized. I woke up to the same view as the night before, Harry. He demanded I sleep in his bed last night, again With him also sleeping in the same small chair in the corner of the room. I feel terrible for having him sleep in such a small chair considering how lackey he is. He kept telling me he didn't mind and it was quite comfortable even though I knew he was lying I dropped the subject and slept in his bed.
I slide out my phone, and flipped it open to reveal the time 9:32. Today consisted of just relaxing besides the little grocery shopping we done. We sat on the couch, lit the fireplace and we started watching the American horror story series on Netflix. We ate the left over snacks from the beach, snuggled up in a mess of blankets on the floor in front of couch staring at the Telly for hours before Niall, I think that was his name called asking Harry if he wanted to attend some party. Harry denied his offer at first but he pestered him, for almost an hour before Harry finally gave in.
Harry promised me that he would only be gone for an hour, and that he was just going to shut him up. I assured him that he should go out, and I shouldn't be the reason to keep him from having a good time. He then said he wasn't going to have a good time and he'd rather be here with me watching American Horror Story.
As much as I'd like to continue our Telly day I wanted him go out. It seemed that he hasn't went out for while, or at least that's what Niall said.
I find myself rummaging through my journal trying to find a new, clean page. I decided on writing since there really isn't anything much I could do. I could finish watching American Horror Story but I wanted to wait for Harry.
I figured i'd write to my mom. I usually write to her everyday but lately I've had a lot going on and haven't had time to write. I mainly write to her about how I'm doing, and what's been going on it was a good way to express myself when I had no one else to talk to I could always talk to her. Even though she can't verbally respond I know she's here with me, through all of this. The only person that kept me fighting.
Mom, I can't do it anymore. I've tried, I've tried so hard. I've fought for so long, mom I really did but I can't do this anymore. I can't. I tried to stay strong for you because I know that is what you have wanted but I don't deserve to live. I can't endure this agonizing pain, and guilt any longer. Don't hate me mom, please. I'm sorry, so sorry. I've been fighting against my demons for nine long years. And I'm tired. I've tried to stay strong for you, I've tried to stay positive for you. But I just feel so empty. I've decided this endless battle needs to end. I don't want to live in this war zone anymore, mom. Please don't be mad. I'll see you soon.
Darkness surrounds me, while reading the last the note I written to my mom. The darkness I've been trying so hard to avoid these past two days, and have been successful at, up until now.
Darkness all around me, a void never to be filled never be completed. The darkness overtakes me, consumes me, rules my body and soul. Darkness welcomes me, calls me, enticing me, embraces me. The darkness that made me point the gun to my temple.
Why do I torment myself with hope
With the belief that things can change?
That things will,when I know better.
Why do I allow myself to be let down repeatedly. I allow myself to hold onto hope when it's all pointless. This will never change. Why do I allow myself to feel this way when I know how it will all eventually end? How it will all be.
Why have faith,when it will only be destroyed?
Why have hope,when it's always broken?
Why dream when they are always shattered?
Why even try anymore when it's always this way. When it will always be this way. Why hope for a brighter day when I know it will never come.
Pain and is all life brings, what am I even trying for? Time and time again I let myself down by allowing myself to believe that it will be different this time around. I try to decieve, but in the end it's always the same. Everyday a struggle, a constant fight to stay alive
An incredible intense pain washes over me. I crouch down on the floor uncontrollable sobs rank all throughout my body. I sob into my shaky hands. I'm so tired of living my life, of being here.
I wonder who I am and why I am here.
I don't know where I am going, or where to begin. I am filled with fear. Fear of facing yet another day, fear of being alone and hurt again.
I try not to let my anger and pain show.
The way I feel I try not to name
Just accept it as something that will not go away; it's a part of the me.
I'm trying to cope with reality's hurtful wrath. Struggling so hard each day to understand. I want to believe I will make it, as that I'll be fine but I'm loosing my mind along with this battle.
Before I knew I was in the bathroom, my arm was outstretched over the sink with a blade pressed firmly to my skin. I look at the glistening steel blade. I run my finger along the sharp edge, envisioning it plunging into the tender skin of my wrist. Envisioning all the blood dripping out slowly, pushing it in deeper, harder until the blood pours out.
I answer It's tempting call and give in.
***
I lay on the couch staring blankly at the Telly for an hour. My crying, and pain has stopped, over thirty minutes ago replaced by this ghostly numbness. The only thing I can feel was the raw stinging of open cuts when I accidentally rubbed my thighs, or arms against anything.
Harry stumbles in ten minutes later with his arms slung lazily over a blonde's shoulders She was trying to hold him up, steadying him which she was doing a poor job at but I didn't have any strength to get up from the couch, let along haul a drunk Harry.
High-pitched Giggling soon filled the room. As soon as the door is closed
Harry takes control spinning her, pinning her against the door his arms above her head, he inched closer until their lips met, in a heated, sloppy kiss.
I cleared my throat to make my presence known not wanting to look at them make out any longer. Both their heads snapped in my direction.
"Mel," Harry breathed, almost in disbelief like he's forgotten I was here. With all the alcohol he consumed I wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.
I know I looked a mess but Harry, failed to notice something was wrong. I mentally thank the alcohol because I don't want to talk about any of this with him.
He shakes his head throwing him off balance a bit. "Uh, hi." He starts "Um this is Grace. Grace , Melody, Melody, Grace." He introduces, awkwardly, his words slurred together but clear enough to where I now knew the blonde's name: Grace.
"Hi," she greets, running her fingers up and down Harry's Torso.
I didn't reply, just nodded my head in her direction. I don't know why I was being so rude to her. I just wasn't in the mood to talk, or smile.
She brushes off my rude reply and drags Harry down the hall. His bloodshot eyes stays locked on mine until he turns the corner down the hall, disappearing around the corner. A door clicking open, and slamming shut was the last thing I heard before sleep invaded my senses.
***
Hey lovelies. I hope you're having a good weekend! I'm going to go read Allegiant, then sleep haha.
I'll update Wednesday (: & I'll try to make my chaps longer from now on
Give me feedback on twitter of what you think about this story so far!
@Mxkhala
I love you, stay strong
Vote. Comment. Xx
Ps idk if I told you guys or not, but I picture Melody as Crystal Reed.
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Broken || Harry styles
Fanfiction“Someone once told me to be careful when trying to fix a broken person for you may cut yourself of the shattered pieces.” They were brought together by a painful tragedy. Her past destroyed her mentally and physically leaving her nothing but a hallo...
