Amnesia | Brian Quinn

Chapter Twenty Two

Brian got home that night, knowing that Maya wouldn't be back home until after him. He sent her a goodnight text, before he stripped himself down to his boxers and got himself into bed. He smiled to himself, thinking of the evening he had had, before soon drifting into a deep sleep.

The next morning, he awoke to his alarm, telling him that it was 8:30am. Brian sat up, letting a yawn overwhelm him, as he stretched out. He rubbed at his eyes, as he stood from the bed and made his way into the bathroom. He showered for the day, brushed his teeth, and got dressed in a pair of jeans and a Tell 'Em Steve Dave t-shirt. Brian retrieved his phone from the nightstand, seeing that Maya hadn't replied to his message. He crossed his eyebrows, making the assumption that she hadn't checked her phone before falling asleep the night prior.

Brian made his way downstairs, making himself breakfast, as he let the TV play. It was on the news channel, the news reader talking about an accident that had occurred. The sound of the bacon cooking on the stove covered the volume of the television, as Brian missed out on seeing the footage of the wreck. If he had seen the news story, perhaps he would have put two and two together. Once his breakfast was cooked, he turned the TV off and took his plate to the table. He started to eat, scrolling through his phone. He loaded up Twitter, responding to a couple of fans, as he scrolled passed the tweets about the news. There was still no response from Maya, but Brian just believed that she was still asleep.

Sal: Bri, we're needed at work, get here ASAP.

A text from Sal came through, as Brian was clearing away his plates. He quickly chucked on a pair of sneakers, and made his way to set, not bothering to brush his hair. Brian soon arrived, being met by Joe and James. They walked with him through to where the crew were setting up.

"So how are things with you and this girl then, Bri?" Joe asked sincerely. Brian ran a hand through his hair, letting out a sigh.

"I mean, last night was amazing at the concert. We both said I love you for the first time to each other, but I haven't heard from her this morning. I'm starting to fear that she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore." Brian explained, as James placed a hand to his shoulder.

"Bud, don't think that. I'm sure she's just not checked her phone. Or perhaps she has lost her phone, who knows?" James comforted. Brian shook his head, thinking things through.

"No, no...she knows my number, she would have found another way to contact me. I think she used me for the tickets to be honest." Brian spoke, stifling a sniffle.

"But she seemed like such a nice girl, I doubt she'd use you, Bri." Joe replied, opening the door to where the crew were filming.

"That's what I thought about all of the rest, Joey." Brian sighed. "Guess I thought that she was different..."

Brian, Joe, James, and Sal started to film for the day, their busy schedule of trying to get all of the commercial videos filmed distracted Brian's thoughts from Maya, well, until he got home that evening. He stared at his phone screen, reading through their messages to one another. He didn't get it, she really seemed into him, and yet, here she was ignoring his messages.

Maya had helped him through his depression, just by being herself, and without her, Brian was beginning to relapse. He felt at fault, perhaps it was because he took so long to respond with 'I love you' last night, or just the fact that she had realised that he wasn't the one for her. Brian walked into his bathroom, leaning his hands against the counter, as he glared at himself in the mirror. He stepped away, breathing out in frustration, his fists curling up into a ball. He slammed his hands against the counter, before pulling open the top drawer, revealing all of his blades. Brian took ahold of one, carefully running it through his fingers. He stared at the metal, before chucking it back into the drawer.

"No, come on, Brian...you're better than that." He spoke to himself, as he took a deep breath. He looked at himself in the mirror once again, slowly breaking down. His eyes filled with tears, as he pulled at his hair. Brian started to breathe rapidly, seething through gritted teeth. He swung his arm back, before whacking it underneath the drawer, causing the blades to fly into the air and land on the tiled floor below. Brian knelt down, clasping a blade in his hand, as he slowly cut away at his wrists. The cold metal slashed against his flesh, wounding him, as the blood started to pour out. "You're not worthy to anyone, you pile of shit."

Brian fell onto the floor, curling up into a ball, as he wept uncontrollably. This wasn't his typical relapse, this was an emotional breakdown over a girl that he loved. He cried himself to sleep on the bathroom floor, dreaming of Maya, as always. Brian awoke a few hours later, seeing that it was now dark outside. He cleaned himself up, regretting the decision that he had made to hurt himself, as he wrapped his wrists up in bandages. He made his way over to his bed, seeing his phone light blinking. He opened up his messages to see a text from James.

James: Fancy a night round mine with the guys?

Brian: Not tonight thanks, I need an early night.

Brian locked his phone after responding, and pulled himself under his bed covers. He laid there, wide awake, his mind racing a mile a minute. He wanted to remain alone, not running the risk of being hurt by anyone else in his life.

For the next week, Brian had remained at home, not even leaving his house to go grocery shopping. He had been receiving messages from his friends, trying to convince him to go out for an evening, but Brian wouldn't have any of it. He sometimes would ignore their messages altogether, not wanting any kind social interaction at all, but Sal refused to give up on him.